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Stupidest Jokes

Who is the stupidest person

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all b...

What's the stupidest animal in the jungle?

The Polar bear.

I'm American, and I'm sick of hearing that America is the stupidest country in the world.

Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world...

What’s the stupidest food?

Dumbplings.

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What does a blind person say when washing a grater?

"That must be the stupidest shit I've ever read."

I always explain things so the stupidest person in the room can understand

But for some reason I always end up talking to myself.

What's the stupidest kind of fish?

A dumb bass

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What's the stupidest joke you know?

Here's mine:

A panda walks into a bar and orders his food and drinks. When he's done, the panda gets up and pulls out a gun, which he then shoots into the ceiling. He promptly leaves.
The next day, the panda goes into the same bar, at which point the bartender says, "Hey! You can't come in...

Stupidest boy in the world.

A barber is cutting a man's hair when a boy walks in. The barber chortles and tells the boy to come to him and tells the man, "Look here, this is the stupidest boy in the world." He held out in one hand a quarter and in the other a dollar. "Here, pick whichever one you want." The boy takes the quart...

The stupidest joke I'll ever make

An Italian man is married to his American car. They've been having financial problems, but the car wants to do something special for their new Mexican neighbors. The car asks "How about we throw them a party?"

To which the Italian man responds with "No"

"Why Not?" says the car spouse...

A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says, "Free Beer For Life If You Can Pass Our Test!"

He asks the bartender, "What's this 'test' you have?"
The bartender says, "Well first, you gotta chug a gallon of pepper tequilla. Next, you have to go out back and pull the sore tooth out of our angry alligator. And finally, we have a girl up stairs who's never slept with a man, and you gotta g...

What's the stupidest element on the periodic table?

Silicon

What is the stupidest type of steel in the world?

Dumbasscus steel.

A barber is telling his customer about the stupidest kid he knows..

He tells him, "I tell everyone about this kid and what a moron he is. Every time he comes by I offer him two quarters OR a single dollar bill. He takes the quarters every time...never learns."

Right as they're talking the kid walks by the window. The barber knocks and waves him in. The kid w...

Everyone thought the UK made the stupidest decision of 2016

Sure showed them

I thought Republicans were the stupidest people in the world for calling Obama "Hussein"

Then I saw the Democrats call Trump "Drumpf"

I saw a sad Dallas Cowboys fan at the bar, so I bought him a beer and asked him what's wrong...

"See, it's like this, sir... I found a lamp at the beach, an' when I rubbed it, a big genie appeared in a cloud of smoke. It really was sumpthin', I tells ya. Anyhow, He says 'You have three wishes'... and well, I'm not good at thinkin' on my feet, and under pressure, so I kinda said 'Gee, I wish ...

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Today, I was fired from my job because I wore a mini skirt

And they have the stupidest fucking excuse: "I dont want to see your cock"

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Me and a couple of the guys were having a beer and laughing about how stupid our wives are.

Ted said, "Mine's the stupidest. She goes out shopping and she comes back with a pair of jodhpurs and a riding crop, and she's never been on a horse in her life."

Jack said, "Mine's stupider than that. She goes out shopping and she comes back with a sailor's jersey and cap and a pair of deck ...

Subarus

This joke took 20 seconds to come up with and is the stupidest joke I have but here goes

I walked into a doctors office and he said “regarding last weeks tests I regret to inform you that you have an sti” I laughed and responded “you must be new to cars, that’s an evo”

A mite is sitting on a fly.

Fly : Hey you, on my back. Are you a mite?

Mite : I mite be.

Fly : That's the stupidest pun I've ever heard.

Mite : Well what did you expect. I just made it on the fly.

A man stumbles across an old oil lamp in an antique store...

The lamp is very dusty, so he gives it a rub, and the room starts to shake, and a genii appears.

He announces, "I am the Great Genii of the lamp! Since you've freed me, I will grant you one wish."

The man replies, "Just one?"

The genii relies, "Blame Reganomics, now time is sh...

A tale of two idiots

Two yokels get a job at a factory. First day on the job, the manager tells them how to do their task on the assembly line.

He goes to take of something, and comes back half an hour later to find one of the yokels working exactly as directed, and the other one hanging from the ceiling.
...

The other day during lunch break I saw one of my colleagues playing some kind of war game on his smartphone. As I poured my coffee I asked him about the game he was playing and we started small talking. Few minutes into our small talk he stated that so far he'd spend $700 in in game purchases.

I bursted into a loud laughter while shouting how that was the stupidest thing and biggest waste of money I've ever heard of!

Man, I was still laughing out loud in disbelief walking off and even still chuckling as I entered the smoking room

List of Extremely Stupidly Funny Jokes

Comment the stupidest, funniest joke you know!

Happy Halloween

Bob thought his new neighbor across the street was strange from the moment he first moved in.  The new neighbor, Jack, was a dorky middle-aged white man, who laughed at his own jokes, which he told repeatedly, and only talked about the stupidest stuff, which he always claimed was super popular on Re...

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What spins really fast, then gets shot by zookeepers?

Harambeyblades

.

.

.

.

This might be the stupidest fucking joke I've written in months.

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Three Professors travel in a train in Switzerland...

A professor of sociology, a professor of mathematics and a professor of philosophy travel to a congress by train into Switzerland.

Looking out of the windows, the professor of sociology sees a black sheep.

"How interesting" he exclaims. "it appears there are black sheep in Switzerland"...

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It could be worst...

The father is mad at his son:

- The teacher said you're the worst, laziest, stupidest student in your 20 people class.

- It could he worst - the son replied.

- Worst how?

- It could have been a 40 people class.

A salesman was traveling across the country when...

...his car started making a funny sounds. He knew he needed to take it to a mechanic but knowing nothing about cars he was afraid of getting screwed.

So he came up with a plan. He stopped at the nearest gas station/shop and told the old mechanic "Now listen here bud, I'm a mechanic so I'll kn...

My mum sent me a text saying, "I've got a funny game."

"What is it?" I replied.

She said, "For every text you send to me, you have to put 'you' at the end."

"That's the stupidest idea since...you!" I replied.

She said, "Son, what does MILF stand for?"

"I'm not falling for that." I added.

In honor of HRH on her birthday

A man walks into a London pub clearly beaten down after a rough day. Barkeep gets to talking to him and asks the man what he does.

"I'm the trainer for the Queen's pure breed corgis." the man replies.

"Well that seems like a pretty cushy job, why are you so distraught?" the barkeep a...

A park ranger catches a man illegally fishing

As the man is getting off his boat with his entire catch, the ranger jumps out in front of him and detains him. The man asks him what he's being detained for.

"Fishing here is illegal. You're coming with me."
"But I wasn't fishing! These fish are all my friends. I come here once a week,...

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A man was speeding over a bridge

A man is speeding over a bridge one day, late for work, when he's pulled over by a cop operating radar at the end of the bridge. The cop walks up to the driver side window and asks the man what he does for a living. The man replies, "I'm a professional asshole stretcher."
His curiosity piqued, th...

Old Man

Jim was having his 109th birthday party. Needless to say it was a big deal. There was even a news reporter who showed up to interview him.

"What's your secret to living so long?" asked the newsman.

"It's easy. I never argue with anyone." replied Jim.

"That's the stupidest thing ...

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The fastest thing in the world

Three old rednecks were sitting in their favorite bar. They'd been drinking for awhile when they started a lively debate on what the fastest thing in the world could be.

The first redneck says, "Well, I think the fastest thing in the world is thinking. 'Cause I can think 'bout a million thoug...

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The Doctor is Always Right

A man wakes up feeling sick, so he goes to an urgent care center.  The doctor asks what his symptoms are, and he tells her, "I'm not sure - I'm just not right."

The doctor immediately replies, "I need a urine specimen."

The man is taken aback.  "Why do you need a urine sample?  You hav...

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Bunny and the Bear

A bear was chasing this bunny around a forest. They ran into a clearing and were running around a certain huge redwood where a genie lived. The genie got so tired of the racket that he finally came out and told the pair that he would grant them 3 wishes a piece if they would just leave him alone. Th...

The classroom was silent

The classroom was silent. Mrs Smith was handing out to students their last homework sheet. As she did it, she wrote the word plenipotentiary on the whiteboard. Then she turned around and said, " Attention boys and girls. This word is almost hardest English word in the world. So, your job is to put t...

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