UPJOKE
decapitatedbrainlessbeheadedanencephalystupidunintelligentacephalousmultiheadedmummifieddismemberedmutilatedcharredleglessdisemboweledlimbless

The problem with Nearly-Headless Nick

is that he is a poorly-executed character

What's The Headless Horseman's Favorite Drink?

Decappuccino

The headless horseman decided to never come back

After all, how could he face everyone?

I liked the Harry Potter books and movies but...

I just feel like the character Nearly Headless Nick was a bit poorly executed.

I love Harry Potter but after re-reading the chapter the death-day party I realized something about nearly headless nick

He was a very poorly executed character

What do you call a headless potato

A decapitato

What did The headless horseman say before leaving the party?

I’ll beheading off then

Why was no one sad when the headless snowman melted?

He was a snowbody.

Two Irish farmers are walking down a road towards the pub, after a long days work, when they hear a motorcycle behind them. They are totally shocked to find that when the bike passes them, the biker is headless.

The two men look at each other and shrug.

They continue down the road because the call of the pub is getting stronger.

As they go, a cyclist comes up behind them and, on passing them, he too is seen to be headless.

The two old men shake their heads and continue to walk down t...

How did the headless chicken cross the road?

In a KFC bucket.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an equestrian that has never received a blow job?

A Headless Horseman!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You ever hear about the jockey who’s partner doesn’t do oral sex?

You could say he was the headless horseman

Corny puns

Why can't the headless horseman ever win a race?

A: Because he can never get a head

What is Tiger Wood's favorite type of club?

A: The wood

Why couldn't the headless horseman win the race?

He couldn't get a head.

What do you call...

What do you call a headless sheep?

A bloody sheep.

Courtesy of my 6 year old. Should I be concerned?

Which Halloween costume has the hardest time getting to third base?

The Headless horseman

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

West Virginia State Trooper

A state trooper from West Virginia comes across the scene of a single car accident. Taking stock of the situation he begins to write his report.

First he sees a car overturned by the side of the road and begins to write on his form: “k-a-r in d-i-c-h.” He pauses, thinks to himself, “that doe...

What do you call a horse without a head?

A headless horse, man.

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