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Stubbed Jokes

The colour White stubbed it’s toe and shouted:

ffffff

Jesus Christ was supposed to be named Franklin....

Until Mary stubbed her toe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The boy's dad was shaving his beard, then accidentally cut himself. He was so surprised he yelled "Ass!" And the boy heard...

(This might be a repost, but my friend told me it and I thought it was funny.)

The boy's dad was shaving his beard, then accidentally cut himself. He was so surprised he yelled "Ass!" And the boy heard...

"Daddy, what does ass mean?"

"It means... beard."

Downstairs, the b...

I just stubbed my toe on the corner of the sofa...

...COUCH!!!!

My biology teacher stubbed his toe today and screamed..

Mitosis

What did the Frequently Asked Question say when it stubbed it's toe?

"FAQ!"

What did Voldemort say when stubbed his toe trying to enter Hogwarts?

"Dumb 'ol door!"

Jesus’s name was going to be Frank

Then Joseph stubbed his toe and the rest is history

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently went to get hypnosis therapy for smoking. I was under his control and everything was going great.

Until he stubbed his toe and yelled “fuck me!”

An old guy was sitting eating at a local truck stop...

when three big, burly bikers walked in. The first stubbed his cigarette out in the old guy's pie, the second walked past and spat in his coffee, and the last flipped the guy's plate over, tipping the rest of his meal everywhere.

The old guy didn't say a word. He just got up and slowly walked...

There was once a group of celibate monks.

They had decided to go on a pilgrimage, and many of them had never left the monastery before. The senior monk decided to lead the group of pilgrims.

"We will be traveling through many towns and villages. We may come across women during our journey, but we must hold fast to our vows, do not l...

An Indonesian Giant

stubbed his foot on a volcano...

Did he Krakatoa?

A man calls 911 one day and frantically asks them to bring an ambulance

Man: "My 14 year old son was entering the mine to find coal but he stubbed his toe on the entrance! Please bring an ambulance quickly!"

911: "Sir I'm sorry but this is nothing we can do. We don't deal with such minor issues"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Virgin Mary had just given birth to her child in a barn

The three wisemen are coming to visit and bring gifts. The first one walks into the barn and hands Mary a present. The second one does the same and Mary thanks them both. As the third one was trying to walk into the barn, he stubbed his toe on the doorframe and yelled "Jesus Christ!" to which Mary r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo mama is so fat...

Yo mama is so fat she stubbed her camel toe!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Men tragically died in a car crash

When they go to heaven they appear in front of Father Joseph who then says

“None of you were meant to die.. and because I cannot send you back to earth as your families have already mourned.. you may choose what you would like to become before you are sent back.”

The first man went to...

A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a big orange head sitting alone in the corner.

He walks up to the barman and asks: "What's with that guy over there with the big orange head?"

The barman replies: "Buy him a drink and he might tell you his story"

So the man buys two drinks and walks over to the man with the big orange head sitting in the corner. He sits at his tabl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Party

When I was 8, my parents were throwing their annual formal dinner party. After much pleading, I was finally able to convinced them to let me greet and welcome everyone to the party.

One day, my parents got into an argument about the seating arrangements. The argument ended when dad called mo...

The Big Orange Head Joke

A man walks into a bar. As he's ordering a beer, he happens to glance down towards the other end of the bar and see a man with a big orange head. As the bartender brings his beer, the man asks him, "What's with the guy with the big orange head?"

The bartender chuckles. "Yeah," he says, "That'...

Donald Trump is sitting at the bar (I changed the title, rest is the same)

Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy hi...

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