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Stirrups Jokes

Me: *kicking stirrups* get along now!

Gynecologist: Stop that.

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Sara goes to the gynecologist for an examination.

She gets up on the examining table with her feet in the stirrups, and the doctor, with his head now between her legs, whispers to himself "My, what a large vagina. My, what a large vagina. My, what a large vagina. My, what a large vagina.”

“I heard you the first time! How many times must you...

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An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.

Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!

Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.

Doctor: I didn’t.

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While in the stirrups at the gynecologist’s office, the woman overhears the doctor say...

“My, what a big vagina!” … “My, what a big vagina!”

The woman became furious and spoke up: “I can’t believe I heard you say something so unprofessional—not just once, but twice!”

“I’m very sorry and I apologize” the doctor said, “But in my defense I only said it once ^once ^^once ^^^on...

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A visit to the gynecologist

A woman goes to the gynecologist and says, "Doctor, I'm worried. My vagina doesn't have its natural odor. In fact, has no odor at all."

The gynecologist puts her up in the stirrups and bends down to examine her.

"My god," he says. "We'll have to operate at once."

"Why?" asks th...

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A woman goes to the doctor...

... and says, "Doctor, can you help me? My vagina is gigantic!"

The doctor puts her in the stirrups and before he begin examining her, even he is shocked at how big her vagina appears.

The doctor asks "Surely something happened here, is there there something you aren't telling me?"...

Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet?

Maple Stirrups.

A cowboy walks into a livery stable and asks for a horse...

"I need a horse, but I'm short on cash. What can I get for $25?" the cowboy asks the owner.

"Well, for fifteen I can give you 'ol Bill. He's seen a few years but he's still a fast horse" replies the owner.

"Why so cheap then?"

"Well, he ain't so good at listening. You see, he ge...

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A woman goes to the gynecologist

She puts her feet into the stirrups and the doctor begins his exam.

After a moment, he says, "You have an unusually deep vagina."

The woman replies, "You don't have to say it twice."

The doctor says, "I didn't."

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South American Stamps

So a lady goes to see her gyno because she's having a personal health issue. The doctor enters.
"Ma'am, what seems to be the problem?"
"It's been two weeks, doc..I keep finding stamps up my vagina!"
"...stamps?.."
"Yeah! From Costa Rica! Sometimes even Ecuador! I've never even been outsi...

A moth walks into a gynecologist's office.

He sits down, put his legs in the stirrups and everything.


"Doc, I feel terrible. I think my wife is cheating on me. Sometimes I come home and I feel like I see other moths flying out the backyard.

I think my boy's on drugs. I found a lighter and some paper in his room the other...

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Polish girl at gynecologist

A Polish girl went to the gynecologist. She disrobed and got up into the stirrups.

The doctor was so shocked at the neglectful state of her vagina he asked, "When was the last time you had a checkup?"

"Well, to be honest with you," she blushed, "I've never had a Czech up there, but I h...

So, today was not a good day.....

I decided to go horse back riding, after a few years of not being on one, turned out to be a big mistake, I got on the horse & started out slow, than we went a little faster, before I knew it we were going as fast as the horse could go, I couldn’t take the pace & fell off, catching my foot i...

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Guy goes to have sex with his wife

She pulls down her pants and takes off her underwear and the husband says, "Honey I don't know how to say this but you're cunt is huge."

"Fuck you, you asshole!" She says. Pulls up her underwear, rolls over, and goes to sleep upset.

The next day she thinks about it more and more. She f...

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I wonder if she got mileage points?

So a woman goes to the Ob/Gyn.

Ob: What brings you in today?
Patient: Uhm... I’ve been finding Costa Rican postage stamps in my vagina.
Ob: You’ve been finding what, where?!
Patient: Costa Rican postage stamps in my vagina...
Ob: Have you BEEN to Costa Rica?
Patient: No!
Ob...

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A 75 year old lady says to her husband...

"You know what, I think I'll go to the doctor and get a checkup."

Her husband says, "Sure, that's a good idea dear."

So she makes an appointment to see Dr. Levine, a gynecologist, and explains that she has not had a checkup in 25 years.

Dr Levine tells her to get undressed and p...

A grumpy, drunken, old cowboy was riding his horse near the Mexican border when he noticed it chewing on a strange, stout cactus.

Before long, the pony started behaving strangely, walking slowly and irregularly and not responding to the cowboys commands.
The cowboy became progressively more frustrated, as well as more drunk and more mean as he continued to glug himself into the depths of his whiskey bottle.
The horse ev...

My parents and I walk in to the house and see my sister...

My parents and I walk in to the house and see my sister sitting on the table next to an open jar of pickles.

Her legs are open as if stirrups were holding them up, pickle affixed in the unholiest of holies.

Stunned, we tried to play it off with some small talk.

Sister silent, I ...

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A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time.

Her legs are up in the stirrups and she looks very nervous. The doctor says, "You look nervous. Would you like me to numb you down there before the exam?"

She's relieved and says "Yes, please."

The doc puts his head between her legs and goes num, num, num.

Are you my Dad?

A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. With that, the baby p...

David Beckham decides to go horse riding

Although he has had no previous experience he skillfully mounts the horse and appears in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace, Victoria admiringly watching her husband.

After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in...

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A young teenaged girl has her first trip to the gynecologist...

She gets taken to the examination room and the nurse tells her to strip down, put the gown on, sit in the chair and put her legs in the stirrups. The girl is a bit overwhelmed, but she complies.

A few minutes later, the doctor comes in, takes a quick glance at the girl's chart and then sits d...

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A woman goes to the doctor...

The doctor tells her to get undressed and lie on the table. She gets up there and put her feet in the stirrups.
The doctor starts playing with her titties and the doctor asked, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
She says, "Yeah, you're checking me for breast cancer."
He says, "Yep!" and continue...

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A women goes to see a gynecologist.

But hers isn't in so she just sees whoever is available. The gyno notices she is very attractive so he gets her in the stirrups and starts to fondle her breasts. He asks "Do you know what I'm doing?"

The woman replies "Yes, you're checking for lumps."

"Very good," says the man, who the...

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