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Squeegee Jokes

The Viper

A woman's sitting at home watching the TV. Her phone rings, she answers. She hears a strange man's voice.

"I'm the VIPER! I'm coming next month!"

She hangs up, thinking it was a prank, and forgets about it. A few weeks go by and she gets another call:

"I'm the VIPER! I'll be the...

When I used to live on a Pacific island, Barry Gibb used to be my window cleaner and always scared the life out of me.

That Bee Gee with the squeegee really gave me the heebie jeebies in Fiji.

I just saw a movie containing mild violence about cleaning supplies.

It was rated Squeegee-13.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kiss

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip pri...

I managed to contact the spirit of our window cleaner who died recently.

I used a Squeegee board.

What do you use when you want to clean windows during a seance?

a squeegee board.

A woman gets a phone call

A woman gets a phone call saying "The viper is coming shortly". She thinks nothing of it.

She gets another call. "The viper is coming in two hours."

She freaks out and calls the cops.

Two hours later, a short Russian man with a squeegee knocks on her door.

"I am the viper...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I Am The Viper! (Long)

A young man inherited a stately manor from his uncle after his untimely passing. The man's uncle was in reasonably good health, but was found dead in his library. His body bore signs of poisoning, but there was no one else with him the night of his death and no poison was found in his system or on t...

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