Speeder Jokes

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But, officer" the man began "I can explain"

"Just be quiet" snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say"... read more

So he turns on his lights
and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five
old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the
back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him,
"Officer, I don't understand, I was ... read more

"Do you know how fast you were going?" the officer asks.

"130 km/h" the man answers

"why were you going 30 over the limit?" the cop asks, surprised the man admitted to speeding.

"I was keeping up with traffic!"

The officer looks up and down the road. "there's no other car... read more

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. N... read more

After completing his visit, the Canadian government gives him a chauffeur-driven car to see the natural beauty of Canada. After 20 kilometers through Canada, he says to the driver:

"Oh, let me get behind the wheel. I'm from the narrow Papal States, and I always have to sit in the back of the... read more

He sees a car puttering along at 10 km/hr and thinks "this car is almost as dangerous as a speeder" and pulls them over.

As he walks up to the car and little of lady driving rolls down the window and asks "is there something wrong officer?"

"Well, yes" says the cop "why are you driving... read more

A man is caught speeding by a cop.

The cop asks “Why were you going so fast?”

The man responds, “I had to get to the Policeman’s Ball.”

The cop exclaims “Policemen don’t have balls!”

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya’ll."
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a... read more

Ewoked.

A blonde cop pulls over a blonde speeder. "Can I see your licence ma'am?"

"My what?" says the driver.

"Your licence," says the cop, "It's the little square thing that has your picture on it."

"Oh!" says the driver and hands over her compact.

The cop takes one loo... read more

The man quickly responds, "Well, I got here as fast as I could!"

Cop says "Listen, It's Christmas, I wanna end my shift and go home, and not have to do paper work. If you can give me an excuse I've never heard before, I'll let you off".

Speeder thinks a minute, then replies "My wife left me for a cop, and I was afraid he was you and you were bringing her... read more

So this cop is waiting behind a billboard in the desert. He's just chilling in his car waiting for speeders to ticket when, all of a sudden, a man drives by at under the speed limit. The cop is about to let him pass, but then he sees the man has, of all things, a penguin in his shotgun seat!
The ... read more

Instead, to deter speeders, they are giving away Cubs tickets.

Suddenly, a Mercedes goes screaming past at twenty over the speed limit. The officer turns on the sirens and races after the speeder.

When its driver sees the police cruiser, the Mercedes pulls over without incident. The officer goes up to its window, expecting to find a rich kid out for a j... read more

A man was driving his ferrari down a country road when a farmer flagged him down and said that his tractor died in a field and needed a little help. The man agreed to help tow the farmer's tractor back to his farm. They agreed that the tractor's left blinker meant speed up and the right blinker mean... read more