UPJOKE
squishshovepressthringpushsqueezethrustjostlecrushgame showcontestantscompressioncompresspressureurgently

Smush Jokes

Why does getting one small dog with a smushed up face lead to getting many more dogs?

It's a gateway Pug

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little girl named Susie....

...was playing outside in the backyard and saw a butterfly flying about. She was entertained by this butterfly, but has an innate sense to destroy and proceeded to smush that poor poor butterfly. Her dad saw this and exclaimed, “SUSIE!!! Why did you kill that butterfly!? No butter for a month!”
<...

Nate the Snake (Long)

There once was an island in the middle of the ocean, shaped somewhat like a dog bone, with two populated ends separated by a long narrow strip of land with a highway connecting the two ends of the island.

Oddly enough, the entire island was held up from sinking into the ocean by a big lever,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Inebriated Indecency

(Sorry for mobile formatting)
Betty and Barry, a middle-aged couple, went out late one hot Friday night to grab dinner. After they had finished their meal, they sat with drinks and enjoyed dessert. Barry excused himself to the restroom and Betty sat there listening and observed the other patrons ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Robert Plant, Paul McCartney, and Mick Jagger convene once a year to discuss all the great foods they've found travelling the globe on tour.

Robert is the first to excited reveal his 'big find'. He takes out a little pie tray from a brown paper bag and places it on the table.

"It's a pastry of some kind from Tanzania. It's akin to what we call a quiche, but uses yak cheese and quail eggs instead!"

"Fascinating" says Paul, w...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.