UPJOKE

Drawn Out Jokes

A Husband and Wife are in church listening to a very long and drawn out sermon

After quite a bit of time, the wife gets tired and dozes off. The husband notices this and goes to poke her with his finger to wake her up. At the same time, the priest asks a question to the audience.

"Who freed the slaves from Egypt?"

"GOD" Exclaimed the wife to the husband, very ir...

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A dude sits in a pub, watching this guy guarding a stretch of floor.

Every so often somebody tries to cross it when he socks them in the face and sends them staggering backwards. The stretch he's guarding is so long that he has to leap backwards and forwards along it, building up a sweat.

Perplexed, the dude watches while this happens six times, and in the end...

I hope Elon Musk never gets involved in a scandal

Elongate would be really drawn out.

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A Scientist, Mathematician, and an Idiot are in a car. Crashing into a tree, all three die. They are sent to purgatory, where the Devil is waiting.

(Of course, the idiot was driving)

"Unfortunately, since heaven is quite full at the moment, I am only going to allow one of you in," the Devil says. "Whoever can ask me a question that I cannot answer correctly will be admitted into heaven. The rest will go to hell."

So the scientist ...

I sure hope Elon musk’s $50,000 house isn’t part of another cover-up scandal

Elongate would be very drawn out.

Rich man arrested for murder

A rich man is arrested for murder finds an Attorney that says

" Rich people don't to jail, You have too much money to go to jail, I'll represent you"

It was long drawn out trial, and when his client was convicted, the lawyer made sure he didn't have any money left.

No wonder Elon Musk's scandals are so drawn out

It's not called elongate for nothing.

This is a joke my four year old son would have told me if I had a four year old son and if he could understand and interpret the English language.

A weary traveler is riding the subway home. It's late and he releases a long drawn out yawn. An old man sitting across from him starts warning him to stop yelling.

The weary traveler lets out another long drawn out yawn due to extreme exhaustion. The old man stands up - points at him an...

Elon Musk caused a major scandal today by going on a bizarre rant about Coronavirus.

I hope Elon-gate is not too drawn out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like my arguments the way I like my penises

Long and drawn out

Did you hear what they’re calling this Tesla scandal?

Elongate, it’s gonna be really drawn out.

Not guilty

Paddy went to trial for armed robbery.
After a long drawn out trial, the jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty."

"That's grand!" shouted Paddy. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"

A man goes to Spain

He arrives, and of course, the first thing he has to go see is the daily bull fight.
The match is drawn out, a banderillero is gored, but eventually the bull is subdued and the matador emerges victorious.
The man is famished at this point, and so, entranced by the fight, he finds his way to t...

Over the last month, Elon Musk seems to be embroiled in one scandal after another.

Elon-Gate seems to be a long drawn out affair.

Two wizards were having an argument.

One of them was saying that magic is produced by the person casting the spell. The other argued that it is drawn out of the air around them and the spell-caster simply acts as a focal point for the magic. They decided to seek some help.

The two wizards set off to visit Drahn the Wise, who was...

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I hope Elon Musk doesn't say something scandalous after being butthurt because someone told him he can stick his sub where it hurts...

Because Elongate could be really long and drawn out.

My silent frog died...

After a noiseless life and a drawn out death, the little guy finally croaked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Green ping pong ball.

These was once a girl, Sara, whos third birthday was coming up, and as this was the first time she was old enough to really understand what was happening, her parents asked her what she wanted.
"I want a green ping pong ball!" Sara answered immediately and without a hint of uncertainty. The par...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two nuns are on a ferry

They're in a rush to get to an important meeting with the bishop, but as the cars start to leave the boat they notice customs performing long drawn out searches of each and every vehicle. One nun turns to the other and says "Sister we really don't have time for this, I'm sure if you show them your c...

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