Sleep On Jokes

Bedrock

Cookie sheets.

Sleep is for the week.

I sleep on my side, my brother sleeps on his back, my ex sleeps with everybody...that sorta thing.

It's just like camping, but with a big angry bear in the next room.

They’ve tried to make good time in their travels, but find that night will fall before they can make it to the next town. Luckily they find a farm nearby, and they ask the farmer if they can stay for the night. When he agrees, not wanting to impose too much, they set their sleeping rolls in his barn... read more

Trust me - I've tried that once and almost fell out of the hammock.

A rap sheet.

To keep their nuts warm.

Because they have a kickstand.

There wasn't enough space for the three of them. One of them moved to sleep on the floor. When he went, one of the dumb guys called him and said "dude come back! There's suddenly a lot of space here!"

A Pasture-pedic Sheep-number.

Pilau

I bought my 19 year old daughter a new bed for when she goes off to university. She was undecided about whether she wanted to keep it.

I told her to sleep on it.

Because he was busy counting sheep.

"The top" she said.

An Abra-Hammock

I'm sorry

Suddenly there is a loud noise from the sheep area.

Tom the border collie jumps up asking, "Did you hear that from the sheep, Boomer?"

Boomer the Collie: "Of course I herd them."

A rich man, after 50 years of marriage, once looked at his wife and said:

\- 50 years ago, we had a small house and an old car. We slept on the couch and watched a small black-and-white TV, but every night I went to bed with a beautiful 19-year-old girl. Now I have a huge expensive house, ma... read more

Because they always want to be right.

Johnny :- Our house is very small. Me, my mum and my dad sleep on the same bed. Every night my dad asks, 'Johnny, are you asleep?'

I say No & he slaps my face & gives me a Black eye

Teacher:- Tonight, when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet & don't answer.

The fol... read more

Little Katy asked grandma 'what is it when people sleep on top of each other'

Grandma thinking Katy was old enough explained to her the birds and the bees.

Katy ran off but came back quickly saying:

"Grandma, mommy wants to see you right now and she is really mad! She said it ... read more

The old man asks, ''Why are you going to sleep on the floor?'' The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."

. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.
He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his position on the couch and slept for an hour. This cont... read more