For Sleep Jokes - 15 Hilarious For Sleep Jokes

My girlfriend just broke up with me for sleeping with her Grandmother

Turns out I can't have my Kate and Edith too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My parents got mad at me for sleeping with the autistic girl next door.

I didn’t really want to, but they told me my first time should be with someone special.

Fucking hypocrites

Indian food is good for sleeping.

You doze off as soon as you hit the pilau.

It’s really sad how my friend lost his medical license for sleeping with a patient.

He was a great vet

To the woman who yelled at me for sleeping on the bus: Screw You

Do you realise how exhausting it is driving a bus?

I was sorry to hear you lost your job for sleeping with one of your clients...

That sucks, you were a great veterinarian

Ive been very depressed because of lack of sleep so i asked the doctor about the positives and the negatives of sleeping medication. He said that they can be a great tool for sleeping but if you take too much you'll die.

I said okay. Now what are the negatives?

(OC) A man is on trial for sleeping with his sister.

The prosecutor feels it should be an airtight case and tries as hard as he can to organize enough damning evidence as possible to put the perv away for a long time. The trial begins and it is obviously a disturbing proceeding, but there is a shadow of a doubt to whether the man is guilty or innocent...

My Uncle was fired for sleeping with one of his patients...

The worst part is that he's a veterinarian.

Lol just kidding, he's a pediatrician.

A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 50th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel..

The following morning, she was appalled when the desk clerk gave her a bill for $250.00. She requested to know why the charge was too high.

"It's a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn't even have breakfast," she told the clerk.

Th...

A friend of mine who was a doctor of 7 years got fired for sleeping with a patient

Really heartbreaking he was an astounding vet

I thought it was an open marriage, but my wife still left me for sleeping around.

How was I supposed to know that her in-laws were off-limits?

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A man and his wife get into bed for the night.

A man and his wife get into bed for the night. The wife curls up and closes her eyes, ready for sleep. The husband puts on his bed lamp, to read a book. As he reads, he reaches over and fondles his wife’s pussy for a minute or two. The wife rolls over with a smile and starts taking off her nightgown...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife are checking out of a hotel

Receptionist: "That will be $400, sir"

Husband: "But we only stayed one night! Why is it so expensive???"

Receptionist: "We are a 5 star hotel, sir, with a world class private golf course and one of the finest spas in the country."

Husband: "But we didn't use the golf course, an...

Did you hear about the crematorium employee who took a nap on a gurney during his break?

He got fired for sleeping on the job.

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