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Bedpost Jokes

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One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is.

"Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times.
It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night.
So before climbing into bed with his wife, he...

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A man is lost in the woods and it is getting dark.

As he walks through the woods he comes across a small cabin. He goes up to the cabin and knocks on the door. An old Chinese man opens it. 

“I’m lost in the woods and I need somewhere to stay for the night,” the man said. “Can I please stay here?” 

“Sure,” said the Chinese man. “But as ...

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A guy visits his favorite dominatrix

He puts his money on the bedside table and says “I’ve been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.”

She makes him strip and bend over as she whips his quivering bottom.
Next she makes him crawl into bed and ties him securely to the bedposts.

She runs her whip over his flesh and, as ...

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3 Chinese Tortures :).... Trust me You will love it.

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you ...

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It was a dark and rainy night…..

Our hero’s car had broken down right in front of an old looking mansion.

After knocking, an old Chinese man came to the door. “ I was wondering if it’s at all possible you might have a room for me for the night. I will be out of your hair the next morning and on my way to the service stati...

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Andy was frustrated.

His wife always complained that he wasn't good enough in bed and that she wasn't satisfied.
He went to the local bar to get a drink and cool off for a bit. On reaching the bar, he ordered a beer and sat down.
His friend, Mike saw him sitting alone and walked up to him.
He asked Andy what ...

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Bubba

A farmer hired a young man named Bubba to help him out with his field. One day Bubba was using the restroom while the farmer was using the urinal next to him, and he noticed that his penis was huge. The farmer asked him how he was able to have such a long dick.

Bubba responded, "Every night ...

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Tiger Woods and Bill Clinton are playing at a charity golf tournament.

Bill sees Tiger at the urinals and peeks down to see that Tiger is very well endowed.


"Tiger, what is your secret?" Bill asks.

Tiger responds: "It's really simple. Every night before I get in bed I whack my dick against my bedpost 3 times. It's been working for me for years!"
...

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The cottage in the middle of the woods

An explorer was lost in the forest, and luckily came upon a cottage in a clearing. He knocked and an old Chinese man opened the door. The man was willing to let the explorer stay on one condition: he didn't approach his daughter or he would impose the three worst Chinese tortures upon him.

D...

Dude runs out of his house and rushes another dude walking....

He says, "My wife is an epileptic and she's seizing! Can you help?"
The other guy says, "Yes! Tell me what to do!"
They run into the house and to the bedroom and sure enough, the woman is in gran mal. The husband says, "Help me tie her down so she doesn't hurt herself!!"
They both proceed t...

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A man is lost in the woods, but finds a cabin next to a small ravine

He knocks on the door and an old Chinese man answers. He asks if he could possibly stay the night, and the Chinese man says he can "But..." he warns "My daughter is very beautiful, and if you lay a finger on her I will inflict upon you the worst three tortures China has ever produced."

The ma...

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A man is lost in the woods

So there was a man who was lost in woods for a few days. Eventually he came upon a farm and knocked the door. The farmer opened the door and the guy explained that he was lost and needed help. He said he could spend the night and as long he didn't touch his daughter and if he did he would suffer the...

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A tired explorer was trekking in the forest...

He chances upon a village. Extremely weary from his journey, he begged the Chinese villager to let him rest the night.

The villager replied: “you can sleep on the bed upstairs and have all the food you like. But you must not touch my daughter.”

The explorer agreed. That evening, howe...

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Chinese Punishments

So this explorer is out in the Chinese wilderness, and he lost, tired and hungry. He comes across a rather large house with multiple stories. Relieved he goes up and knocks on the door. An old chinese master opens it up.

"Please," said the explorer, "Can I have food and shelter for the night...

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So a guy is hiking in a forest and it's getting dark

He's too far from his car to make it back by nightfall and the woods are dangerous at night. Luckily, he comes upon a clearing with a quaint little cottage in the centre. A middle-aged Chinese man is sitting outside the cottage watching the sunset.
The hiker asks the wizened man if he could stay ...

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The Three Chinese Tortures

A man is stranded in the desert; he is tired, hungry, thirsty, and on the verge of death. As he walks along, he sees a house! He can't believe his eyes! He runs up to the house, and wildly knocks on the door. A small Chinese man opens up the door.

"Please help me! I'm tired, hungry, thirsty, ...

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A man was wandering, alone in a forest in rural China

He was getting weary from the long hours of constant walking, and was feeling very thirsty. He stopped to have a look around, and spotted a little shack in the forest. As he approached, an old man with a great long beard came out towards him, and bowed. "I see you are tired from walking, and you loo...

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A man is wandering lost in the middle of nowhere

When he happens upon a single house. Hoping he to find a place to rest, he approaches the door and knocks. A middle aged Chinese man opens the door and the man pleads with him for shelter as he has been without food and water. As he is speaking he notices the Chinese man's daughter atop the stairs a...

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A man is lost in China

Jimmy is lost in the woods in the middle of the night. After hours of wandering, he stumbles across a random House. He excitedly knocks on the door and an elderly Chinese man who appeared to be at least 110 years old answers.

"I'm sorry to bother you but I am lost!" Jimmy says, " can I stay h...

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A man got lost in the woods...

... and stumbles upon this old house in the middle of the wood with it's lights on. An old Chinese man with a long grey beard answers the door and the man asks for help. The old man says he can stay for the night, but gives him one warning. He says, "if you touch my daughter, I will lay upon you the...

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A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost.

It's been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could

forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.

One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines

covering most of it and the man can't see any other buildings i...

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(NSFW) The three Chinese tortures

A young man is lost, hungry and wandering around China. As he is wandering, he happens to find this old mansion on top of a cliff. He walks up to the door and rings the bell and an old man answers. The young man asks the older gentleman if he can have some food and spend the night. The old man agre...

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