Sleep In Jokes - 28 Hilarious Sleep In Jokes

Was sleeping in my girlfriend's house last night and her dad wouldn't let us sleep in the same bed

I was really angry because he is actually really handsome

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My annoying little cousin keeps bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed.

Well, joke’s on you, you little shit. I sleep in a real car.

Where's the best place to sleep in Italy?

Napoli.

What do you call people who sleep in their socks?

Tiny

My mum always said that you shouldn't go to sleep in a bad mood.

Which is why I always go to sleep in a bed.

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I feel the most at peace when I sleep in the nude

The rest of the passengers on the plane felt different

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The teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty boy walked up to him...

Little boy: "Teacher are you ... sleeping in class?"
Teacher : "No I am not sleeping in class."
Little boy : "What were you doing sir ?"
Teacher : " I was talking to God."
The next day the naughty boy fell asleep in class and the same teacher walks up to him...

Teache...

What does a baby frog sleep in?

A cribbet. (My 6 yr old told me that one)

If I sleep in a sleeping bag...

Is it a knapsack?

Son: “Dad, can I sleep in your bed tonight? I’m scared...”

Dad: “No, son. I can’t risk the monster following you in here.”

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Three guys are forced to sleep in the same king sized bed

Three guy friends go on vacation and when they arrive at their hotel, they find that only one room is available (which happens to ONLY have one king sized bed.) After much reluctance, they agree to all sleep in the same bed

The next morning during breakfast, the guy who slept on the left say...

Why do happy people like to sleep in late?

Because they aren't mourning people.

I just made this up!! Could you all help me with the wording? It feels like it could be a little better I just don't know how to word it differently while using the same "mourning" pun as the punch line.

A rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car that breaks down in the countryside one evening.

They walk to a nearby farm and the farmer tells them it’s too late for a tow truck but he has only two extra beds and one of them will have to sleep in the barn. The Hindu says, “I’m humble, I’ll sleep in the barn.” But minutes later he returns and knocks on the door and says, “There is a cow in the...

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Jehovah's Witness were driving through the countryside when their car broke down.

The only house in the vicinity was an old farmhouse, so they decided to stay there for the night.

"I'm so sorry," said the farmer. "The bed in the guest room only has room for two people." So he volunteered the Jew to sleep in the barn.

Five minutes later, the farmer heard a knock on t...

A Muslim, a Hindu and a lawyer are travelling through the desert…

They’ve tried to make good time in their travels, but find that night will fall before they can make it to the next town. Luckily they find a farm nearby, and they ask the farmer if they can stay for the night. When he agrees, not wanting to impose too much, they set their sleeping rolls in his barn...

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Little Dora liked to sleep in Sunday school

Little Dora was not the best student in Sunday school, and she liked to sleep through class.

One day, the teacher asked her a question while she was sleeping, "Tell me, Dora, who created the universe?"

When Dora didn't stir, little Dick, a boy who sits behind her, took a pin and jabb...

Did you know there are tents surviving that Genghis Khan used to sleep in? I just scored one on eBay!

Thought you would appreciate my original Kahn tent.

A wife asks her husband if she were to die, would he remarry?...

...and her husband says "yes I would remarry I like living a married life and spending time with someone else. The wife gets uncomfortable and proceeds to ask " well would you let her live in our house?" And the husband says "yes I'd let her live here there's nothing wrong with this house." That wor...

Why did the spy sleep in?

He was working undercover.

Little Johnny came to class all beat up...

Teacher: What's wrong?

Johnny: Our house is very small, me, my mum and my dad, all sleep in the same bed. Every night my dad asks if I'm sleeping,
I say "No" then he slaps my face & gives me a black eye.

Teacher: tonight when your dad asks, keep dead quiet, don't answer.

...

Do you know what the cops do to people that sleep in public places?

They put them under **arrest**!

What do sweet potatoes sleep in?

Their yammies.

A wife asks her husband, “Honey, if I died, would you remarry?”

“After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship.”

“If I died and you remarried,” the wife asks, “would she live in this house?”

“We’ve spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I’m not going to get rid of my house. I guess she...

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How did I sleep in college? I slept like a baby...

I woke up every two hours to vomit, shit myself and cry myself back to sleep.

John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith, so they loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard, so they pulled into a nearby farm...

...and asked the attractive lady who answered the door, if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed." she explained. "And I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

...

What did a Tom Felton fan reply to his tweet saying that he was about to go to sleep in his bed?

"Do you mind if I Slytherin?"

How do you keep little cows quiet so their mummy can sleep in on Mother’s Day?

Use the Mooote function on their horns

A Jew, an Hindu and Karen survive a plane crash in the woods

They walk together trough the woods throughout the day and into the night looking for help.

At last, they find a little wooden house with a lit window and a barn next to it.

The Jewish man says:

"Finally, someone who can help us! Let's ask the owner if we can stay the night and ...

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