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Shortages Jokes

There a man in the Soviet Union who always complained about the constant shortages

One day the KGB went to the apartment he lived and arrested him. The occupant of the apartment knew that he was gonna die so they didn't make a fuss out of it. But after a week much to the apartment's occupant surprise, the man returned relatively unharmed except for some bruises so the occupant ask...

Shortages

A man walks into a store in a town in Venezuela and surveys the empty shelves.

"Wow! You don't have *any* meat?"

"No," replied the clerk. "We don't have any fish. It's the store across the street that doesn't have any meat."

What is the German term for food shortages?

Wurst Käse Scenario.

Caught empty handed by toilet paper shortages?

I guess that's why hind sight is 2020.

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Given the recent events involving France's butter shortages...

We can all say that France has seen butter times

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UN Survey

Last month, the UN conducted a global survey:

# "Please give us your honest opinion about a solution to the Food Shortages in the Rest of the World."



The poll turned out, not unexpectedly, to be a huge flop.

Why?



\-In Africa, participants didn't know what ...

Shortages of toilet paper are starting to occur, as panic buying sets in again, due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Please don't buy more than is absolutely necessary.

Fortunately, the 24,490 rolls we stocked up on should last us thru the rest of the pandemic.

During WW2, oil shortages forced some countries to start using organic fuels.

Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.

The shortest joke in the world

'Dwarf Shortages'

Boris saves Christmas .....

Driver shortages will soon be a thing of the past as Boris has personally ordered 50000 fridge magnets from Amazon today. A reporter asked how that will help to which trolley replies "well we know there are two poles in a magnet..."

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Russian jokes under communism

To alleviate the perennial shortages of butter, The Politburo of the Communist Party ordered the Soviet scientists to develop a technology for converting shit into butter, and to complete this project on or before the anniversary of the Great October Socialist Revolution. After six months of work, t...

Help With Counting Money

Patel: Remove your clothes.


Wife: Why Remove my clothes?


Patel: Just do and come beside me on the bed.


Wife: Okay they are off.


Patel: Nice sweetie. What about your bra and panties? Remove them also.


Wife: Please I am not in the mood. ...

Company Heinz announces plans to produce PPE

There is still global shortages. They will be playing Ketchup.

At a meeting in a factory, a lecturer from the district Party committee tells the workers about their bright future in the USSR.

At a meeting in a factory, a lecturer from the district Party committee tells the workers about their bright future in the USSR.

"See, comrades, after this five-year plan is completed, every family will have a separate apartment. After the next five-year plan is completed, every worker will h...

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An engineer dies and goes to hell...

He is welcomed by his orientation demon, who shows him around and explains how things work. The engineer notices that a lot of things aren't working and are in dire need of fixing. The air conditioning is busted, the network is overloaded, there's power shortages everywhere, everything is overheatin...

After years of saving up, a Soviet man finally has enough to buy a car....

He goes to the appropriate ministry and informs them that he would like to purchase a vehicle.

“There are currently shortages, it will be three years before your car is available,” the minister informs the man. “We will have it sent to your house when it’s ready.”

"Three years," he ...

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