Sperm banks have difficulties finding donors.

TBH, there is zero interest.

Tiger Woods won't be able to play the Masters this year.

Having difficulties with his driving.


Too soon?

A husband and his wife are having financial difficulties. After many nights and days of talking, with ideas coming and going, they decide she should try prostitution.

They agree on the prices- £20 for a hand job, £50 for oral, and £100 for intercourse, the husband would be waiting in the car.
She meets a guy in a bar and he accepts her advances so she tell him the prices.
She says "Its £20 for a hand job, £50 for oral and £100 for intercourse."
"Gee,"...

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Future historians will have difficulties studying about our pornstars

because we delete them from our history.

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A woman took a flight for the first time

A while into the flight the pilot announces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing.

The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her, rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make ...

My wife and I had some difficulties lately in bed

We have some different interests

She likes roleplay

And I am into men

A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked if I was interested in taking part in a marathon.

I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties. I thought "damn, I might actually win this".

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A student is late for a zoom class...

"What took you so long?" the teacher asks.
"Technical difficulties" the student answers.
"I've heard that excuse a hundred times, let me guess, your wifi didn't work?"
"My clock"

Doctor: I understand you're experiencing hearing difficulties. Please describe the symptoms.

Patient: Well, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair.

^(Posted on behalf of /r/ScottishPeopleTwitter's comment section)

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As Farmer Brown approached his neighbor’s barn, he saw Farmer Jones serenading a tractor with songs and compliments. “What are you doing?” Farmer Brown demanded. Farmer Jones replied, “My wife and I have been having marital difficulties and the marital counselor said I needed to do something..."

"...sexy to a tractor.”

One afternoon at the paddle boat hire hut...

"Come in number nine. Your time is up."

"Umm...we only have eight paddle boats."

"Number six? Are you experiencing difficulties?"

Some people have difficulties sleeping.

But I can do it with my eyes closed.

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A little boy in a quaint town was said to be the hairiest person in history.

Even in a small community, where everyone was aware of and understood his plight, living a normal life was difficult. Even though everyone was respectful, the sheer volume of hair and speed at which it grew was a constant hardship. It interfered with the boy's eating, he would overheat quickly durin...

Planning for this year's International Juggling Convention has ran into difficulties.

Organiser's have stated that its all up in the air.

Jesus and Mary Magdalene were having difficulties in the bedroom. After the 2nd try, Jesus said...

"Don't worry, it'll rise again".

Did you know Tinder has different difficulties?

Here's how to unlock Tinder's different difficulties.

Easy mode: be a white girl

Intermediate mode: be a white guy

Hard mode: be anything else

God mode: be an Asian male

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Erection difficulties

I’m about three years into my relationship now and I’ve started to have erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is. She bought me some Viagra, and I got her a treadmill.

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I ran into the drummer from my old high school garage band...

After the usual "we should get the band back together" bullshit, we started talking about how life has been over all these years gone by.

I told him my wife (coincidentally, also a guitar player) and I have 6 happy and healthy kids now. And how, oh so cleverly, we named them after the common ...

When asked about the difficulties of being a blind musician, Stevie Wonder replied..

"It could be worse, I could be black."

A military plane has some technical difficulties and is forced to crash-land on an island in the Pacific.

As it turns out, it was inhabited by cannibals. Without much ado, the crew are captured and delivered to the village, to be put in the communal pot.

The chief of the tribe approaches, and asks them "Who might you be, snacks from above?"

"Airman Sam Jones," says one.

"Airman Dan ...

The departing division general manager met a last time with his young successor and gave him three envelopes.

"My predecessor did this for me,and I'll pass the tradition along to you," he said. "At the first sign of trouble, open the first envelope. Any further difficulties, open the second envelope. Then, if problems continue, open the third envelope. Good luck."

The new manager returned to his ...

Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering...

Yes, I forgot our anniversary again.

Wikileaks has been experiencing financial difficulties recently.

Would it help if they began running... classified ads?

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A heartwarming story from the war

A boy is walking his dog in an English park when it chases a duck into the river and gets into difficulties. The boy stands on the riverbank screaming for help and crying in panic, when a German PoW on a work detail in a field sees what is happening. "Hey, Tommy, I go help?" he calls out to the guar...

Been dating the same girl for 5yrs.

Been dating the same girl for 5yrs and I always keep her picture in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties in life I take out my wallet and stare at her picture. And it comforts me knowing that if I can survive being in a relationship with this psychopath, I can survive anything.

Berlin's Hottest Nightclub

A hot new nightclub, Integers, opened up in Berlin. The club's
advertising referenced the "infinite" amount of space on the inside, and its excellent location downtown. The walls were sleek and black, with purple house lights and an immaculate sound system. Drinks were all priced at whole dollar...

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Doctors of reddit - who is that one patient you really wish you'd seen again?

It was actually during my junior year. A man, about 50, came in with walking difficulties - you could tell he was really struggling when he arrived at the surgery and even looked uncomfortable when he sat down. I was expecting a leg, hip or even back complaint but once the door was shut he admitted ...

Keanu Reeves was charged in court today

for causing breathing difficulties to people around him

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Three Black Women are in an Airport

Three black women are in an airport, discussing back and forth about their flight from Newark to London, and the difficulties therein. Finally, they come around to what happens if the plane crashes.

The first woman says "If we go down, I'ma make sure I'm wearing hot pink panties."

The ...

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There once was a police dog...

The K-9 unit had decided to get some new dogs to sniff out drugs and the like. One of them happened to have an exceptional talent for this, and while training this dog, several notorious local drug dealers had already been caught. Eventually, the dog was assigned to a cop, and the cop named the dog ...

A little old Christian lady...

...comes out onto her front porch every morning and shouts, "Praise the Lord!"

And every morning the atheist next door yells back, "There is no God!"

This goes on for weeks. "Praise the Lord!" yells the lady. "There is no God!" responds the neighbour.

As time goes by, the lady r...

The US Justice Department were hellbent on taking IKEA to court a few years ago.

Unfortunately they had to walk away as they were having difficulties putting a case together.

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