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Shatters Jokes

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A man is peeing at a urinal…

When he hears someone smash the bathroom door open.

A huge man steps into the bathroom and growls like a maniac. The dude takes out his penis and it’s a monster! This beast of a man swings his penis like a bat and slams it into a stall door. The door explodes!

The man at the ...

A Salesman is working late one night to close a deal with some clients.

They start to get hungry, so he calls down to the office cafeteria to see if they can fix anything. The kitchen is already closed for the night, so the best the chef can do is whip up some sandwiches. As the chef is plating them up, he accidentally knocks the pickle jar off the counter and shatter...

A lawyer, A rabbi, and a Buddhist Monk...

...Are driving together on Route 66. It's beginning to get dark and they are wishing for a place to stop but there isn't a town for miles. Then they spot an old farmhouse and decide to ask. The farmer meets them at the door and listens to their request. He says that he would be glad to let them stay...

A guy walks into a bar...

his face gets bruised, his phone shatters on the concrete, and the Pokemon gets away.

A little geography joke for y’all

A little boy living in Southern California was inside his home, playing with a baseball. The ball then slips out of his hands, shatters a lamp, and rolls out of sight.

His dad sprints upstairs in a panic at the shatter, yelling “WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME?!”

The boy replies nonchalantl...

Genie Wish

A couple is playing golf when the man hits a wild shot that shatters the window of a nearby house. The couple head up to the door to apologize and offer to replace the window. To their surprise, a tall, handsome, mustachioed man in a turban answers. Before the couple can speak, the turbaned man says...

Big Joe

A guy runs into a bar. "I'll have a vodka tonic, but make it snappy!" he says to the bartender.

The barkeep hands him his drink. The guy throws a twenty down and says, "Keep the change. I gotta get out of here, Big Joe's coming!"

Hearing this, patrons all over the bar frantically get u...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chuck Norris Facts!

-can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it.

-can make scissors beat rock.

-when he's looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough
to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

-can unscramble eggs.

-counted t...

Chuck Norris Compilation

Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...

Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because n...

American, Indian and Russian go to hell...

An American, an Indian and a Russian got to hell after they died and were met by the Devil with a huge whip (twice as big as Indiana Jones had). So Devil met them and said...

-"I give everyone one chance to go to heaven, all you have to do is withstand three lashes from my whip, also you can ...

There once was a man who was born with just a head

He grew up as only a head, he relied on people to help him everywhere, or he would just roll around. Despite his unusual condition, he lived a happy, content life, but he longed to be normal just like everybody else.

One day, while rolling back home, he bumps into a bottle. The bottle falls t...

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Immortal porpoises

One day Timmy has had enough. He is completely burned out, so he decides to use his saved up vacation days to go hiking in the mountains. He packs his tent and all his camping gear, and starts driving.

After many hours of driving he finialy arrives. He puts his backpack on his back and hea...

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Coldest Igloo

Three Eskimos are sitting around an ice hole fishing when the topic of coldest igloo pops up.

The first Eskimo says, "My igloo is definitely the coldest. I'll show you"

So they all head over to the first Eskimo's igloo where he says, "Watch this."
He gathers up a big wad of spi...

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A drunk man driving a Lamborghini is pulled over...

A drunk man driving a Lamborghini is pulled over by a police officer.

As the officer approaches the car, the drunk man jumps out of the door and tries to make a run for it. The cop, furious, catches up to the drunk man and brings him back to his car.

The officer proceeds to reach into...

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