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Selfies Jokes

Selfies taken by orphans are

Family photos

Let's call selfies what they really are

Alonies

I asked my photographer friend which pose was the best for selfies...

...he said, "It doesn't really matter. Just take your pic."

Why thanos don't like selfies ?

Because everytime he makes a snap, half of his friend list disappear.

Where Do Vegetables Post Their Selfies?

Instayam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just walked in on my boss jerking off to my selfies.

That's the last picture of Spider-Man I ever sell to the Daily Bugle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are most selfies taken in the bathroom?

Cause that's where the shit belongs

Some girl has stolen my phone and clicked naked selfies.My cloud is full of them now. Somebody help me find her

I need to give her a charger too.

Nothing like selling an old man your selfies in skin tight outfits, covering strangers with your sticky white goo, and taking compromising photos when they’re vulnerable.

I sure loved the old Spiderman movies.

stolen from comments of r/showerthoughts

Was going to post an original joke my parents made 27 years ago

But r/jokes won't let me post my selfies

Did you hear about the ISIS graphic designer?

He was handed some selfies and asked to blow them up.

An Instagram influencer walks into a bar

They were too busy taking selfies.

Hello, Im here to subscribe to the gym

+Hello, I'm here to subscribe to the gym
-Are you here because of a New Year Resolution?
+Yes
-We have a one day plan, it includes 4 selfies in the weight lifting area
+Perfect

What does the Queen of England call post stamps ?

Selfies.

What's the difference between Peter Parker and Basic White Girls?

Parker gets paid for his selfies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Panda Bear wins a free trip to NYC....

This Giant Panda boards his flight from China and after a long flight he arrives in New York. He decides to do some tourist stuff and go sightseeing. As he is walking down the crowded and busy streets of NYC, so many people are taking photos and selfies with him. The panda is feeling like a rocksta...

Two blondes on an ariplane...

Two blondes are on a flight from New York to Los Angeles to get to a modeling job. About 30 minutes into the flight, the captain makes an announcement.

"We seemed to have had an engine failure so were are flying on only three out of our four engines. We will be about 1 hour late for arriva...

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