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Season Ticket Jokes

Season ticket

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.

"Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not look...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Value of a season ticket!

A woman was reading a newspaper one morning and said A her husband,

'Look at this, dear. There's an article here about a man who traded his wife for a season ticket to Arsenal. You wouldn't do a thing like that,-would you?'

'Of course I wouldn't!' replied her husband. 'The season's alm...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do a tampon and a redsox season ticket holder have in common?

Both have a great place to go but at a terrible time.

Anybody caught breaking rule will be fined....

The first day of university and Dean addressing the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”

He continued, “A...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An English Football joke.

A policeman stops a suspected drunk driver and asks him to take a

breath test, the driver pulls out a medical card which says 'this man

is asthmatic please do not take his breath.'

So the policeman asks him to take a blood test, the man then

pulls out another card which r...

Sports joke...

Two older gentlemen, Steve and Dave, strangers until they met at the Superbowl.

Dave notes the empty seat between the two.

Steve sighs. "...that was my wife's seat. We were season ticket holders and went to every game until she passed away."

Dave says, "I'm sorry to hear that....

To Shoot or Not Shoot

A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en-route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agrees.

Quietly arriving home, the husband ...

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