UPJOKE
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Why do mermaids wear seashells?

They out grew their b-shells.

My girlfriend has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh

And when you put your ear on it, you can smell the ocean.

Ever wonder why Ariel wears seashells?

Because she outgrew the B-shells

Sally can't sell seashells down by the seashore anymore...

She was busted for conch-traband.

Why did Jiminy Cricket hide in a seashell?

He was hoping to be somebody's Conch-ience.

They say if you put your ears up to a seashell, you can hear the ocean.. But if you put your ear up to a strangers leg..

You can hear a "What the hell are you doing?"

You wanna sell seashells by the seashore?

Well thatโ€™s a lot easier done than said.

Why do mermaids wear seashells?

Because D-shells are too big and B- shells are too small.



*A random elderly woman just stopped in the street in front off where I was sitting and told me this. Awesome*

When Aphrodite poses naked on a seashell she's "beautiful" and "a goddess"

But when I do it apparently I'm "drunk" and "barred from the Sea Life Centre".

A blonde is walking along the shoreline of a lake in Minnesota looking for seashells when she spots another blonde across the lake from her. Eager for company she shouts loudly "How do I get to the other side?"

The other blonde shouts back "You're on the other side!"

I walked up and down the beach all day looking for the perfect seashell, and I found it

It was littorally the best

What does a mathematical mermaid wear when she can't find her seashells?

An algebra.

A man goes to the bank to apply for a loan

The banker says okay, but I'll need some information first. What do you do for a living?

The man says he's a dentist.

A fine profession! And are you married?

Yes.

And what does your wife do for a living?

Well, it's a little hard to say....

I must know if you...

Its difficult to say what my wife does

She sells seashells by the sea shore.

Shelly sells seashells down by the seashore

Shelly got chlamydia.

With the rising toilet paper crisis

Does anyone know where to buy 3 premium seashells

Did you hear the founders of New York City were Jewish.....

Who else can buy the most valuable land in the world for 26 seashells.

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