The 24+ Best Mew Jokes - ↑UPJOKE↑

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For women, having sex is like buying a mew car.

They ask basically the same questions:
-Is it loyal?
-Is it worth it?
-Is it good?
-Is it gonna kill me?

But for men it’s like finding a parking spot:
-It’s open, why not
-I have to pay? Nevermind I’m out
-It’s handicap? A quick one then I’m going out

Two cats are stuck on a roof. Which one falls off first?

One with the smaller mew.

What do you call it when cats rebel?

Mew-tiny!

An Englishman an American and and Irishman rob a bank.

Whilst running from the cops they dash down and alley. The Englishman points to a pile of burlap sacks and says let’s hide in these. The trio jump in.
The cops come screaming around the found to notice one of the bags wiggles.
The police officer picks up the fist sack containing the American...

What do you call a park loved by cats

A A*mews*ment park

Where do cats go for fun?

An a-mews-ment park

Montana has the best lovers

My favorite jokes about the insane amount of sheep loving that occurs in Montana from when I grew up:

1. What is the hottest selling clothing accessory in Montana? Velcro gloves. *wpsh* *wpsh* *BAaaAah*

2. Why do the mountain men always make love to the sheep on the edge of a clif...

There are two kittens sitting on a steep roof. Which one falls off first?

the one with the smallest *mu*

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**Preemptive explanation:**

Coefficient of friction. The coefficient of friction (COF), often symbolized by the Greek letter µ (pronounced *mew*), is a dimensionless scalar value which describes the...

Everybody seems to like cats on Reddit.

Maybe it's because they sort by mew.

How do you know if Trump's cat is lying?

Fake mews.

Why are cats such great singers?

They're very mew-sical!

What makes Mewtwo throw up?

The Sound of Mew Sick.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a sexually abusive Pokemon?

# MewToo

How does a cat land on its feet and fit through small places?

Mew-tonian physics.

[OC] Three little kittens are sliding slowly of a slanted metal roof. Which one hits the ground first?

The one with the littlest mew.

(This is a physics joke, by the way. I posted it to /r/physicsjokes shortly after I wrote it, but I thought I'd try here)

What's it called when a cat meows for food when their bowl is half full?

Fake Mews

[religion] Pat Robertson is on his way to buy some Depends.

As he's walking down the street, he sees a small boy sitting on the curb with a box of newborn kittens. He looks in the box of squirming, mewing kittens, and tells the boy "Those are about the cutest kittens I've ever seen!"

The boy smiles and says "Thanks! They're Christian kittens."

...

Because of my cake here are a few physics jokes...

1.) Two kittens are on a roof which one falls off first?

The one with the lowest mew.

2.) what happens to electrons and they lose all the energy?

They become Bohred

3.) People call me lazy but I am just overflowing with potential energy.

4.) Did you hear about th...

You know why you should never trust Russian Pokemon?

Fake Mews.

What's the most average Pokèmon?

Mew.

Donald Trump never lifts trucks

He doesn't believe in fake mews

What do you call a disobedient feline pirate?

A mew-tineer!

And what do you call a genetically altered cow?

A moo-tant, of course!

Cat jokes

#10

Why does a tiger tell the truth?

Because he isn't a lion.

#9

If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat?

None! They were copy cats!

#8

Why did the cat run from the tree?

Because it was...

Dead Duck

A woman brought a very limp duck in to see a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said,
"I'm very sorry, but your duck has passed away."
...

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