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Verses

A young minister was visiting the homes of his church community. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. So, he took out a business card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering w...

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It's funniest if you look up the verses yourself

A pastor has just moved to a new town, and the day before services, he goes around visiting members of his new congregation. He comes to one house and knocks... no answer. He rings the doorbell... no answer... but he can tell someone is home, so he pulls out a card and writes on the back, *Revelatio...

Donald Trump was once asked if he could quote any Bible verses.

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you will never have to feed him again."

Donald 20:17

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Salman Rushdie enjoyed the response to his book The Satanic Verses so much that he has written a sequel.

It will be called "Buddha, You Fat Fuck"

A spiritual Leader lay quietly. He was dying.

The disciples had gathered around his bed and recited some holy verses trying to make his last journey divine and pleasant.

They wanted to give him warm milk to drink but he declined.

One of the disciples took the glass back to the kitchen and decided to add some brandy con...

3 Nuns

Three nuns are driving home after an evening church service when suddenly a demon-like creature appears on the bonnet of their car.
The nuns are shocked and are unsure what to do!
"Quickly" says the Nun driving "Lean out the windows and say a bible verse"
So the other Nun winds down her wi...

An old woman and her birthday gifts

An old woman had three sons. Two were rich and the other was poor. This woman's 90th birthday was coming up and this depressed the poorer son as he knew he could never match his brothers gifts in terms of expense or splendour.

However, he didn't give up and thought of gift she would really l...

Mom's birthday gifts

3 guys, who were brothers, were all discussing what gifts they were getting for their elderly mother for her birthday.

The first brother, named Michael, said, "I bought mom her very own Lexus and chauffeur. She was always complaining about not being able to drive well."

Jeremy, the se...

What do mumble rappers from the East coast rap about?

I don’t know...Their verses aren’t Pacific.

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An Air Force Colonel is about to brief his men.

An Air force Colonel is about to start the morning briefing.

While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the Colonel decides to pose a question to assembled staff.

He explained his wife had been a bit frisky the night before, and that he failed to get his usual amount of ...

Hidden desire

A girl at a bus stop spotted a handsome man and without hesitation went to him and said ” you look cute.. I like you.”…. The man out of shock simply placed his hand on her shoulder and said “My dear, this love and infatuation are all nothing. You are too young to be behaving like this. Pls go home a...

Poetry Competition

At the annual national poetry competition, it comes down to the two finalist. A professor of literature from New York City, and an Iowa pig farmer.
The judge lays down the rules. One minute to prepare, four verses, and the key word that must be included in the poem is Timbuktu!

The profess...

Sister Ya lived in communist China

Although the church was allowed there, it lived under the rule of the CCP. The more the good sister saw, the less she could ignore. It started small, ministering people with verses dedicated to freedom and truth. But the oppression became more than she could bear. She started hiding pro-democracy pa...

A Buddhist, a Muslim, and a Christian all jump off from the top of a 100-floor building to prove their faith can save them.

The Buddhist jumps first. As he's falling, he chants "Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha." Sure enough, about halfway into falling down, he magically starts slowing down and he gently lands on the sidewalk. "Thank you, Buddha." he says with tears.

T...

Three brothers want to do something great for their mother's birthday

All three men are wealthy as two of them are doctors and one is a lawyer.

The eldest son proclaimed that he'd buy a big new house for their mother to live in and did so.

The middle son proclaimed that he'd buy an expensive and fast new car for their mother and did so.

Then the y...

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John and the parrot

John brought home a parrot as his pet. He taught the bird how to speak, and was amazed at its learning pace. Being a quick learner, the parrot started picking up words from its surroundings and would keep John entertained.

All was lovely and peaceful until one fine day, the parrot started usi...

Poet competition

It is a great poet competition in England. The final is coming up and only two men are on stage. On one side an Irish country pastor. On the other an American globetrotter.

The jury announces the last competition: There must be a quatrain that ends in Timbuktu. Whoever speaks first, will win....

A Roman Catholic priest, a Southern Baptist minister, and a Rabbi were all at a bar...

They were all arguing over who could convert the most followers to his respective religion.

A rather drunk man at the bar yells, "Anyone can convert a person! It takes real skill to convert a bear!"

The three religious mean agree, and set out to prove who could most effectively convert...

The ultimate gift

Three sons left home and everyone went their own way ...

When they returned home together, they boasted about the gifts they gave to their aging mother.

The first said: "I built a big luxury house for my mother."
The second said: "I sent my mom the latest Mercedes with the driver."<...

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