This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?

Full.

Never kiss your hunny when her nose is runny

you may think it's funny but it's snot

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If your sex doll gets a runny nose, it's not because she's sick

Its because she's full

Told my friend his nose was runny

He said it’s not

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do cowboys call runny poops?

Diarryeehaw

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 drunkards walking down a street and suddenly sidestep a pile of runny brown on the pavement

One says ‘what a waste, a good helping of peanut butter thrown on the street’

The other says ‘pff that’s not peanut butter! It’s obviously a side of lentil curry’

The first dips a finger and takes a taste, ‘hmm maybe you’re right it’s not peanut butter’

The other tries some too ...

What bear always has a runny nose?

A drizzly bear.

What's brown and runny?

Usain Bolt

I was hanging out with my friend from Mexico the other day and he asked me how runny I like my cottage cheese.

I told him "No whey, Jose"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is there any way to tell how your poop will come out? Runny or firm? Brown or green?

Or is it all by process of elimination?

The owner of a restaurant sends his employee undercover...

...to the vastly more successful restaurant across the road.

Before sending him, the owner says "That restaraunt is ruining business here, all because of their famous chowder. I need the recipe and the secret ingredient ASAP!"

The employee manages to infiltrate the kitchen of the succe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the groove

A man walks into a restaurant and he's pissed off for some reason. The waiter comes up to him and says "May I take your your order."

The man looked at the waiter and screaming says "I want you to get in there and tell the chef, I want a cheese burger not too greasy and not too dry but right ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man in hospital

A nurse goes into an older man's hospital room and asks the man, "What would you like for breakfast today?" The older man sits up and begins to describing what meal he would like to have brought out to him...

"I would like a glass of orange juice but instead of using a clean cup, I would like...

Thanks to my son for this one: What's the difference between a mayor and a person with diarrhea?

One of them runs a city, and one of them sits a runny.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An English father sits his son down to talk

English Father: Son, have you tested positive for Coronavirus?

Son: No dad

English Father: Do you have any of the symptoms

Son: No dad

English Father: Do you have a cough?

Son: No dad

English Father: Do you have a runny nose or congested nose

Son: No...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three old men are sitting around in a convalescent home,

And the first man pipes up:

“I wish I could have just one good easy piss. I’ve had enough with this dribbling, and trying to get it out, always waiting and waiting and waiting.”

The second man chimes in:

“I wish I could have one just one easy poop. It either comes out runny and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men are wandering the desert and find a magic lamp

One of them picks it up and gives it a rub and a genie pops out.

"Thank you for freeing me, as a sign of gratitude I shall grant each of you 3 wishes."

The first man quickly speaks "I wish I had a million dollars!" the genie nods and the man gets his phone, checks his bank account and ...

A man walks into a bar

Guy walks into a bar and sits at a table. Tells the waitress, "I'll have a Bloody Mary and a menu." When she returns with his drink, he asks "Still servin' breakfast?" When she says Yes, he replies, "Then I'll have two eggs-runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon-well done on one ...

A chef was preparing for his busy Friday night shift…

A chef was preparing for his busy Friday night shift when his coworker called in sick. Friday nights were always busy at the restaurant and he was the only one working the kitchen. He decides to grab one of the busboys to help him cook for the night.

“Alright,” the chef says, “tonight is busy...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Restaurant Order

A resident in a hotel breakfast room called the waiter to his table.

"I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so overcooked, it's tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dead Hooker

A man enters a brothel with only 5$. He asks the madam what he can get for his 5$. She tells him he can fuck the dead hooker in the attic. Seeing as how he doesn't have much choice he agrees. 10 minutes later he comes downstairs and goes back to the madam. He says, "I don't think she was dead. Just ...

A caterer was sprinting down the hallway with a pan of scrambled eggs. My first instinct repsonse:

"I hope they like their eggs runny"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday's brothel joke reminded me of this.

So a broke dude goes to the brothel and approaches the bouncer. He tells the bouncer that he is very horny but all he has is $2.

The bouncer tells him that it's enough but he'd have to settle for the dead hooker on the third floor.

The man agrees.

After the deed, the bouncer a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three teenagers are lost in the woods...

They are very cold, hungry and thirsty. After wandering for several days, they stumble upon a small farm house in the middle of the forest. It has a small shack to the side, fit for animals such as pigs and horses. After discussing with each other for a bit, the hope of food and a warm place to slee...

An old man was staying in a hotel and went for breakfast at the restaurant.

The waiter asked him what he’d like for breakfast and the old man replies:

“I want porridge but it must be lumpy and under cooked, then I want some bacon , eggs and toast but the bacon must be burnt to a crisp, the eggs must be runny and snotty and the toast I want 1 slice very soggy and the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 black guys having sex with white women

2 Black guys are talking about sex.

"You know what, every time i have sex with a white woman, my nose is runny and my eyes are sore, do you know what that is?"

"What the hell, i have exactly the same problem, my eyes are sore and my nose is runny. But only with white women. You know wh...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.