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Noses Jokes

What do zombies blow thier noses with?

Human tissue!

What do you call a man with multiple noses?

No one nose.

I have three noses, twenty arms and 10 eyes, what am I?

A liar.

Why do elephants have long noses?

So they can scratch their bag

I have 4 noses, 10 eyes, 20 legs, and 6 fingers, What am I?

Ugly

What do protestors and people with big noses have in common?

They both know how to picket.

What do cannibals use to clean their noses?

Nose tissue.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do noses run and feet smell?

I don't know, but my ass itches and my finger stinks.

Why do kids get bloody noses more often than adults?

Sharpe fingernails!

John Smith was the only Protestant to move into the large Catholic neighborhood.

On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday during Lent.

On the last Friday of Lent the neighborhood men got together and decided that something just HAD t...

Why do gorillas have such big noses?

Because they’ve got big fingers!

Q: What kind of emotions do noses feel?

*A: Nostalgia!*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Jews have big noses?

Because oxygen is free.

Why aren't noses 12 inches long?

Because then they'd be a foot!

Noses and Boyfriends

Boyfriends are like noses...

People get disgusted when you blow them in public.

Especially if you're caught without a tissue

Feet are for running, and noses are for smelling, but . . .

my feet smell and my nose runs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A drill instructor was yelling at a new recruit

He was all up in this guy's face, their noses less than an inch apart.

He screamed at the recruit, "You hate me don't you?!?"
The recruit responded as calmly as possible, "Sir, no sir."
The instructor yelled back, "You're going to piss on my grave if you outlive me, aren't you?!...

I have four eyes, three noses, five mouths and seven ears. What am I?

Ugly

Don't be so harsh on people who don't wear their masks over their noses

They're mouthbreathers

Despite CDC guidelines, there's no reason to worry about people not covering their noses with their masks.

They're mouth-breathers anyway.

I met a surgeon who operated on ears, noses and oaks

He was an E.N.Tree surgeon

I get why a lot of people don’t properly wear masks over their noses

It’s because they’re mouth breathers

I hate people who don’t cover their noses and mouths when they sneeze.

They make me sick.

Today I learned where plastic surgeons get new noses for their patients...

At the olfactory.

What do you call the King of the Noses?

His Royal Sinus

You know what they say about guys with big noses?

They smell well.

What has 4 arms, 2 noses, and complains all the time?

My pregnant wife

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