What do Margaret Thatcher & Prince Andrew have in common?

...They both shafted miners!

Margaret Thatcher walks out of a restaurant and sees a man with a sign "Falklands veteran, please give generously".

She hands him a 20 pound bill, then He gives a big smile and says "Muchas Gracias Señora!".

Margaret Thatcher in Heaven

Margaret Thatcher dies and strolls up the pearly staircase to the pearly gates, where she is confronted by St. Peter, brandishing a clipboard. "Name," says St. Peter.

"Margaret Thatcher," she replies.

St. Peter checks through all the lists on his clipboard but cannot find the name o...

1980s European leaders Mitterrand, Brezhnev and Thatcher were flying around Europe in a helicopter, trying to recognize cities without seeing them.

Thatcher went first. She stuck her ear out the window and stated: "I can hear Big Ben chime. This is London!"

Next was Mitterrand. He stuck his nose out and stated: "I can smell fresh baguette. This is Paris!"

Last was Brezhnev. He stuck his hand out and yelped: "What... hey! Somebody ...

What’s the difference between Boris Johnson and Maggie Thatcher?

One starved miners and one starved minors

What did they put on Margaret Thatcher's tombstone?

"Here Lies the Iron Lady.

May she rust in peace"

I was once in an art gallery once looking at a painting of Margaret Thatcher in a bikini ...

a security guard wandered over to me and said “sir you can’t wear that in here”

Margaret Thatcher takes the cabinet out for dinner

Margaret Thatcher takes the cabinet out for dinner. The waiter comes along and asks her what she will be eating tonight.

Margaret replies, 'I'll have the steak.'

The waiter then asks, 'What about the vegetables?'

To which Margaret says, 'They'll have the same as me.'

Margaret Thatcher appears to Boris Johnson in a dream...

"Privatise the NHS and paint the Houses of Parliament green!" she says to Johnson



Johnson looks confused; "Why green?"



Thatcher smiles, "I knew you wouldn't object to the first part"

Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher and Mikhail Gorbachev are riding together on a plane

They fly over the Empire State Building and Reagan proudly boasts:

"See that? We built that in a few days from scratch!"

Then they fly over the Buckingham Palace and Thatcher proudly says:

"See that? That we built in a week!

When they got to Russia and flew over the Krem...

When Thatcher ruled it was Thatcherism!

Does that mean we now have Mayhem?

So, my swimming instructor asked me a question.

"what's your favourite stroke?" He asked me.
Apparently "the one that killed Margaret Thatcher" wasn't the right answer.

Why did Margaret Thatcher hate the Trade Unions?

Because they include u and i but not her.

Gorbachev, Reagan, and Thatcher all meet God.

God says "I'll answer one question from each of you."

Reagan asks "How long will it be before the American people are happy, healthy, and living in prosperity?"

God replies "50 years."

Reagan starts to weep, and says "I won't live long enough to see it!"

Thatcher says "Wh...

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Margaret Thatcher has only been in hell for half a day...

...but she's already sorted out Satan's budget deficit, busted up the demons' union and made Hitler cry during a debate.

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So it looks like there was a paedophile ring operating at the heart of Thatcher's government.

I don't know why everyones so shocked, they were well known for fucking miners.

First Thatcher dies, then Ferguson retires...

Somewhere there is a scouser with a lamp and one wish left.

/english humour

So excited to go and watch 'the Evil Dead' next week. Anyone else going to Thatcher's funeral?

Bring 'em on! Post em all here.

My toddler refused to get her PJs on because she was watching The Iron Lady, a biopic about Margaret Thatcher, along with our family.

I said, "Looks like we have a minor strike on our hands."

(A triple ententre for the win.)

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"Grandpa, tell the story again when you broke a duck's neck with your erection at your brother's wedding!"

Well, children, the year was 1922. I had nothing more than a flatcap, a shovel, and my favorite pint glass to my name. It was around the time where cars were a brand new luxury and a lass would let you put a thumb in her bum just to honk the horn. Well as luck would have it, I was out peat poaching ...

What do you call an old, dead, bloodsucking leech?

Margaret Thatcher

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A child asks his father about the origins of surnames.

'Well Johnny, you see that surnames originate from the professions. For example, Margaret Thatcher's surname shows that she has the origins of a roof thatcher,' says the father.


'Oh do you have any other names that you could tell me?' pleads little Johnny.


'Well of course there...

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Bob and Uncle Angus

An American named Bob discovers that he has a long-lost Irish uncle named Angus. Bob travels to Ireland to visit Uncle Angus. They are sitting on the porch of Angus's cottage that evening, looking down on the village at the base of the tall hill Angus lives on.

Bob turns to Uncle Angus and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some topical jokes for the Brits:

Government cuts bite deep as former prime ministers slashed by 25%.

What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Jimmy Savile? Nothing: they're both dead and fucked miners.

Margaret Thatcher has died peacefully following a stroke at the age of 87. I for one am truly devastated a...

A joke for (and by) Northern Irish people.

Made from two redditors' comments on the death of Paisley.

"Thatcher and Paisley within 18 months of each other; somewhere in West Belfast there's a bloke wondering what his third wish should be."

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