UPJOKE
churchillrooferstateswomaniron ladymargaretblairmugabepredecessortorysarkozymrsdeposedprimecallaghanmiliband

Thatcher Jokes

What do Margaret Thatcher & Prince Andrew have in common?

...They both shafted miners!

Margaret Thatcher walks out of a restaurant and sees a man with a sign "Falklands veteran, please give generously".

She hands him a 20 pound bill, then He gives a big smile and says "Muchas Gracias Señora!".

Margaret Thatcher takes the cabinet out for dinner

Margaret Thatcher takes the cabinet out for dinner. The waiter comes along and asks her what she will be eating tonight.

Margaret replies, 'I'll have the steak.'

The waiter then asks, 'What about the vegetables?'

To which Margaret says, 'They'll have the same as me.'

My swimmer friend asked me “what’s your favorite stroke?”

Apparently the one that killed Margaret Thatcher wasn’t an answer

Margaret Thatcher’s bid to screw all of Britain’s miners was controversial, but had support from one man in particular.

Jimmy Saville.

What’s the difference between Boris Johnson and Maggie Thatcher?

One starved miners and one starved minors

I was once in an art gallery once looking at a painting of Margaret Thatcher in a bikini ...

a security guard wandered over to me and said “sir you can’t wear that in here”

Margaret Thatcher appears to Boris Johnson in a dream...

"Privatise the NHS and paint the Houses of Parliament green!" she says to Johnson



Johnson looks confused; "Why green?"



Thatcher smiles, "I knew you wouldn't object to the first part"

1980s European leaders Mitterrand, Brezhnev and Thatcher were flying around Europe in a helicopter, trying to recognize cities without seeing them.

Thatcher went first. She stuck her ear out the window and stated: "I can hear Big Ben chime. This is London!"

Next was Mitterrand. He stuck his nose out and stated: "I can smell fresh baguette. This is Paris!"

Last was Brezhnev. He stuck his hand out and yelped: "What... hey! Somebody ...

Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher and Mikhail Gorbachev are riding together on a plane

They fly over the Empire State Building and Reagan proudly boasts:

"See that? We built that in a few days from scratch!"

Then they fly over the Buckingham Palace and Thatcher proudly says:

"See that? That we built in a week!

When they got to Russia and flew over the Krem...

Why did Margaret Thatcher hate the Trade Unions?

Because they include u and i but not her.

Gorbachev, Reagan, and Thatcher all meet God.

God says "I'll answer one question from each of you."

Reagan asks "How long will it be before the American people are happy, healthy, and living in prosperity?"

God replies "50 years."

Reagan starts to weep, and says "I won't live long enough to see it!"

Thatcher says "Wh...

When Thatcher ruled it was Thatcherism!

Does that mean we now have Mayhem?

What did they put on Margaret Thatcher's tombstone?

"Here Lies the Iron Lady.

May she rust in peace"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So it looks like there was a paedophile ring operating at the heart of Thatcher's government.

I don't know why everyones so shocked, they were well known for fucking miners.

So excited to go and watch 'the Evil Dead' next week. Anyone else going to Thatcher's funeral?

Bring 'em on! Post em all here.

My toddler refused to get her PJs on because she was watching The Iron Lady, a biopic about Margaret Thatcher, along with our family.

I said, "Looks like we have a minor strike on our hands."

(A triple ententre for the win.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Grandpa, tell the story again when you broke a duck's neck with your erection at your brother's wedding!"

Well, children, the year was 1922. I had nothing more than a flatcap, a shovel, and my favorite pint glass to my name. It was around the time where cars were a brand new luxury and a lass would let you put a thumb in her bum just to honk the horn. Well as luck would have it, I was out peat poaching ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Margaret Thatcher has only been in hell for half a day...

...but she's already sorted out Satan's budget deficit, busted up the demons' union and made Hitler cry during a debate.

A joke for (and by) Northern Irish people.

Made from two redditors' comments on the death of Paisley.

"Thatcher and Paisley within 18 months of each other; somewhere in West Belfast there's a bloke wondering what his third wish should be."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some topical jokes for the Brits:

Government cuts bite deep as former prime ministers slashed by 25%.

What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Jimmy Savile? Nothing: they're both dead and fucked miners.

Margaret Thatcher has died peacefully following a stroke at the age of 87. I for one am truly devastated a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob and Uncle Angus

An American named Bob discovers that he has a long-lost Irish uncle named Angus. Bob travels to Ireland to visit Uncle Angus. They are sitting on the porch of Angus's cottage that evening, looking down on the village at the base of the tall hill Angus lives on.

Bob turns to Uncle Angus and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A child asks his father about the origins of surnames.

'Well Johnny, you see that surnames originate from the professions. For example, Margaret Thatcher's surname shows that she has the origins of a roof thatcher,' says the father.


'Oh do you have any other names that you could tell me?' pleads little Johnny.


'Well of course there...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.