In the future, Donald Trump passes away from a heart attack.

He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil." You're on my list, but I have no room for you.

You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as yo...

How do you call a self-restrained coke addict?

A one-liner

At the Pharmacy

A lady walked into a drug store and told the Pharmacist she needed a bottle of cyanide.

The pharmacist said, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

“So I can poison that no good husband of mine,” she replied in an indignant tone.

The pharmacist’s turned pale as his eyes grew wi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a small sword are both under arrest for sexual misconduct

A detective/ interviewer is being brought to the two sexual predators who are both in separate rooms. First he goes to the room with the man. The man is not constrained and is sitting on a chair. The detective peaks in the window to the room and asks the officer "What exactly did he do?" the officer...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gorilla Removal

A man came home from work to an escaped gorilla on the roof of his house. He quickly Googled how to remedy this situation and stumbled upon a phone number for a gorilla removal expert.
He called.
When the expert arrived, he hopped out of his truck with a baseball bat, shotgun and his rottwe...

Sean Bean is walking down the street

Heard you guys like long OC.

 

Sean Bean is walking down the street, enjoying his Sunday night. Suddenly, a black paneled van pulls up next to him. Four massive dudes in ski masks wearing all black leap out and try to grab him. Sean remembers his GoT training and manages to ta...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three boys with some chicken-wire...

walk down the street and pass an old man on his porch.

The old-timer asks "What are you boys doing with so much chicken-wire?"

One of the boys exclaims "We're gonna catch some chickens!"

The old man scoffs and tells them "you can't catch chickens with chicken-wire, that's not ho...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(OC) I was at an outdoor showing of and old movie last week...

(On the Waterfront(1954)) when a clearly disturbed and hyperactive boy sitting near me began to behave strangely. He was fondling his penis, groping at adult men and finally trying to sodomize himself with various items. He needed to be forcibly restrained by his parents, all the while the boy conti...

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