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Rednecks Jokes

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Two Rednecks are eating in a fancy restaurant....

Suddenly, the woman sitting at the next table starts choking and gasping for air. Everyone else around just sits there watching, but one of the Rednecks JUMPS up, grabs the woman and yanks her out of the chair. He then pulls her dress up over her head, yanks her panties down and runs his tongue up t...

How Rednecks Get Things Done

"Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith. He's hidin' marijuana
inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but
he's hidin' it there."

"Thank you very much for ...

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The Logical Redneck

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic.

"What's Logic?" the first redneck asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Let me giv...

Why don't rednecks do the reverse cowgirl?

They never turn their back on family.

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What do you call the sweat produced when two rednecks are having sex?

Relative Humidity.

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The Redneck Joke

Two Tennessee Rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.
Bubba turns to Jim Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes." Jim Bob thinks it's a go...

Rednecks are good at sensitive stuff.

Three Rednecks were working on a Cell Phone pole: Cooter, Pete and KC. As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife." KC says, "OK, I'm pretty g...

What is a rednecks favourite fruit?

Pump kin...

Why do rednecks love sandwiches?

Because they're inbred too.

What do rednecks do on Halloween?

Pump-kin.

Two rednecks went to the beach

The younger of the two said "This sucks, man! None of the girls are even noticing me!"

His older friend said "I tell you what- maybe if you put a sock in your swim trunks, that would help get you some more attention."

So the younger boy went to the changing room and adjusted his swimw...

Two rednecks are sitting on the porch when they see a dog lick his balls.

One says, “Boy, I wish I could do that.”

The other redneck says, “Be careful. He bit me.”

Two rednecks flew to Canada on a hunting trip.

They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.



They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the Pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.



The two guys objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let ...

Rednecks prefer their beer like they prefer their violence

Domestic.

Two rednecks went out duck hunting

After several hours one said to the other "Hey man; this sucks! How come we aint gettin' any ducks?"

And the second said "I 'unno man, maybe we aint throwin' the dog high enough!"

What do you get when 32 rednecks enter the same room?

A full set of teeth.

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What do rednecks from the South & assholes from Boston have in common?

They both hate the Yankees!

What's a rednecks favorite excercise?

Hick ups

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(NSFW) Two rednecks, Junior and Billy, are walking through the forest and stumble upon a sheep with Its head stuck in the fence

Junior Looks at Billy and says, “Ima fuck that sheep!” So he runs up behind the sheep, pulls down his pants and starts fuckin it. After a few minutes he steps back, pulls up his pants and walks back to Billy. Junior looks at Billy and Says “I’m sorry, do you want a turn Billy?”

Billy looks a...

I’m surprised how many NASCAR fans are rednecks

All the cars do is go left
(I’m sorry how dumb this is)

Why do rednecks cut their sleeves off?

They have the right to bare arms

Four rednecks are out deer hunting.

After reaching the land where they will be hunting, they pair up and head in opposite directions. At the end of the day Cletus and Billy Ray are walking back to the truck empty-handed when they see Bubba emerge from the forest alone, dragging a very large buck behind him.

"Where's Junior?" C...

What do pimps and rednecks have in common?

They both like to throw a hoedown.

Why are there so many rednecks in Florida?

Because sunscreen instructions include: “apply liberally”

Rednecks in NYC

A redneck and his son visit New York City for the first time. They walk into a hotel and see an elevator.

"What's that thing, pa?" the redneck kid asks.

"I got no idea junior" the redneck dad says.

Just then, the doors open and an elderly woman steps in. The doors close. A few s...

Why do rednecks fail calculus?

Because they are really bad at integrating.

2 rednecks

Two rednecks are driving the down road and see a dog on the side of the road licking his balls.

One looks at the other and goes "Man I wish I could do that!"

Other guy looks back and says "Man he'd bite you."

Why are conservatives known as rednecks?

They don’t use sunscreen because the bottle says to apply liberally.

What's the difference between rednecks and a political advisor?

Some hicks got the president into the White House, and another Hicks got him out.

2 Rednecks

A: Would you f*ck a bear for 50$? B: Sure but I don't have 50$...

How many rednecks does it take to eat a ‘possum?

Two. One to eat and one to watch for cars.

Arkansas.

Two rednecks, Dale and Billy Ray, were walking downtown, window shopping and suddenly, they see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $10 each, shirts $2 each, trousers $3 each".

Dale says to his buddy, "Billy Ray, looky there! We could buy a whole gob of these, take 'em back to Arkansas, sel...

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2 rednecks were talking during their lunch break

Trimothy - As soon imma get home gonna take off ma wife panties
Bradley - Y’all horny ?
Trimothy - Nah , worn them by mistake dis mornin

Why do rednecks hate Ancestry.com?

They can't swipe right or left.

What are a rednecks last words?

Hey pa! Look what I can do!

Two rednecks were fishing when one asked the other "If I slept with your wife, would that make us be like family?"

His friend replied "No, that make us even"

What weighs 40 tons, fits seven guys and is just getting towed away by 2 rednecks in a tractor?

Your Mum.

When two rednecks divorce

Do they still remain family?

What's a rednecks favorite part of archaology?

Relative dating

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