A man is pulled over for recklessly speeding at 3am

The police officer demands to know: where are you rushing to at 3am?

The man answers: to hear a lecture.

The police officer asks: a lecture??? Who the hell is giving a lecture at this hour of the night?!?!

The man responds: **my wife!!!**

A man dies and is waiting to be transported to heaven

He asks Death about what happens next. Death replies "YOU WERE A GOOD MAN ON EARTH , YOU WILL GO TO HEAVEN , WHERE YOU WILL ENJOY ETERNAL YOUTH , YOU CAN DO BASICALLY ANYTHING YOU WANT , ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES ". The man thinks to himself, "that's wonderful", and settles down for the journey....

A man is driving recklessly on the highway

A man is driving recklessly on the highway. A cop sees him me pulls him over.
The officer asks the man to step outside of his vehicle and then asks for him to pee into a cup.
The man replies " I can't do that I'm diabetic, my blood sugar will get to low"
The officer then asks the man to blo...

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I don't want my son buying Grand Theft Auto. Having sex with prostitutes, stealing from innocent people, driving recklessly...

I can teach him about these for free.

A policeman pulls over a man driving recklessly

The policeman asks "How high are you?"

The man says "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'."

A bumblebee suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat, realizing he has overslept and is about to miss his connecting flight home after a successful overseas business trip.

He makes a mad rush to the airport, suitcase in one hand, passport and airline ticket in the other. His tie flaps loose in the breeze, his shirt wrinkled and untucked, with his face covered in bushy bumblebee beard stubble.

He recklessly flies into the main entrance, nearly knocking over a fa...

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Voodoo dildo

A man walks into a sex shop and tells the shopkeeper that he'll be going on a trip soon. He tells the shopkeeper that his wife is very sexually active, and to keep her happy he wants to get her something to keep herself busy. The shopkeeper goes to the backroom and brings the man a box. The shopkeep...

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A businessman was about to go on a long business trip

and was worried that his wife would cheat on him while he was gone. So to prevent this, he visited the local sex shop in order to buy his wife a vibrator to keep her occupied in his absence.

After examining the products, he hadn't found an appropriately amazing vibrator and asked the store cl...

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Shirley is driving to office for the first time when

her husband calls her on phone "Honey!! Please be very careful. It's being telecasted on the news that a maniac is driving recklessly on route 256 in the wrong direction".

Shirley goes : " One maniac? There's hundreds of these bastards".

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A man goes on a long business trip NSFW

While he is away he is worried his wife will miss him. To prevent this he takes a trip to his local adult store. Having never been there the vast assortment of adult toys takes him by surprise, not knowing what to get, the man approaches the shopkeep and explains his situation. The man smiles and...

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Vodoo Dick

A woman complains to her friend that she hasn't been laid in years and she feels so lonely. Her friend suggests that she visit the Haitian store and she will get help. The woman is curious so she goes to the store and bashfully explains her situation to the store owner. He pulls out a wooden phallus...

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When Americans annoys Russians .

There was a group of Americans camping in the wild forest , suddenly there was a black bear walking towards them so they ran away recklessly .

However they accidentally destroyed Russians' campsites when escaping from black bear, how could Russians let them go like this ? They caught up t...

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Uranus ( long )

Originally from Buck Buchanan 9 i just had to share) let the Uranus jokes come forth.............anyway....

“It's my understanding that the first six probes were recklessly plunged into Uranus at such excessively high speeds these early attempts only produced massively dense clouds of methane...

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The Stop Sign

A business man was very late for work one day and was driving recklessly. As he pulled up to a STOP sign, he simply slowed down a bit, and then continued at his original pace.
A police officer caught him in the act and pulled him over and explained his mistake.
"Come on," said the man...

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