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Mayan Jokes

What the Mayans taught me

The Mayans taught me that if you don't finish something, it's not really the end of the world.

The mayans made a typo.

They meant 2021 and not 2012.

The Mayans were right.

They were just off by 8 years.

Typical Mayans ...

4 years late

What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot?

Pretzalcoatl

Back in 2011...

My friend predicted the world would end in 2012. I said your guess is as good as Mayan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2020 one-ish liners

2020 so far:
-Welp, I guess somebody finally fracked their way through the wrong Native burial site.

-You think 7 years bad luck for breaking a mirror is bad? You should see what happens when you let polar ice caps melt.

-Nobody’s trying to keep the Jews as slaves again are they? ‘...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roger was very thin because he was afraid to spend a lot of money on food. He looked forward to the day when his grandfather would die and leave him a fortune.

His grandfather was blessed with both a sense of humor and a sense of justice. So he planned that when he finally died all he would leave to Roger was a cookie.

But what a cookie.

It was made with butter, churned from milk from a yak milked by a virginal milkmaid on the highest field o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Earth is Flat

Old Mayan walks into a bar

Bartender: Hey where you from? What do your people believe in?

Old Mayan: We believe the Earth is on back of Crocodile floating in Lily Pads

Bartender: Wow that's fascinating......tell me more


Old Aztec Shaman walks into the bar.

Bar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Angry Notes" Courtesy of Saurabh on Fropki.com

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get it up. Enjoy dreaming about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

D...

Two women archaeologists are down in Mexico excavating an ancient Mayan burial ground looking for some remains to take back to their museum.

Unfortunately, everything they run across is badly decomposed. One of the two says, "We don't seem to be having much luck."
The other replies, "Keep on digging, honey, a good Mayan is hard to find!"

Chichen Itza is not yours!

It's Mayan.

Sometimes I drink to cure my malaise.

If I get drunk this Friday because I am bummed about the end of the world, am I getting sauced because of Mayan-aise?

One day there were three grave robbers searching through a graveyard in Central America

They came across an Ancient Mayan temple which had three doors. the first grave robber walker up to the first door and looked inside, he saw a black pedestal with nothing on it, and in the back of the room there were piles of gold and riches, so he walked in and grabbed a handful of gold, but as he ...

According to Mayan legend, the earth would come to an end in the year 2012.

2021\*

Everyone's making Mayan jokes

Like there's no tomorrow!

Dear world...

+8

Sincerely, the Mayans.

What do you call Sons of Anarchy with all Latino cast?

The Mayans.

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