Quantum Mechanic Jokes

He both repairs and doesn't repair my car at the same time, and I can never be certain of what the charge will be.

Until you ask me why I’ve murdered so many cats.

He said the wheels have no spin

I’ll never know if they arrived.

I would like to say a quantum mechanical joke.
But then you would or wouldn't get it, unless you make a measurement.

...So I ask him if he can fix my car, or not? And he says: “I don’t know, I’ll have to look at it!”

Dont worry, it's gonna be Feynman.

I *still* haven't even finished paying the last bill from my Quantum Mechanic!

A student is in biology lecture when the professor gets to a part he doesn't understand. The student asks, "I don't understand, why does this happen?" The professor answers, "You're not supposed to understand, it's chemistry."

So the student later takes a chemistry lecture and the professor... read more

A quantum mechanic

They are gonna have to bring in a quantum mechanic.

Quantum Mechanics

Quantum Mechanics.

I hear quantum mechanics are pretty discrete.

Thought i'd make a post compiling a few of my favourite science jokes. You can add your favourites in the comments below.


Q: How many physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to hold the lightbulb, and the other to rotate the universe around it.


Q:... read more

A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity"
The teacher answers: "I'll see if I can pull some strings for you"

to buy two ice creams: one for himself and another that he offers to the empty spot next to him.

Eventually, the ice cream salesman asks him: "Why do you keep doing that?"

P: "Well... quantum mechanics teach us that it's theoratically possible for a girl to spontaneously burst into exi... read more

But it's written in chinese and about quantum mechanics.

... sits down and orders himself an ice cream and also a second ice cream that then offers to the empty stool next to him. He does this every day for about a week. Finally, the owner comes up to him and asks,
"Good afternoon. We were all wondering what's the deal with you ordering the second i... read more

As an undergraduate, I was a Double E major. I studied physics, quantum mechanics, and Maxwell’s equations! I designed circuits! Hah! But does anyone call me Pierre the Electrical Engineer? NO!

As a master’s student, I studied mathematics. I learned and proved many beautiful theorems! I broke... read more

He places one in front of the empty seat next to him, while he slowly consumes the other. Upon finishing, he orders another drink. The bartender notices the untouched beverage and motions to it. "Something wrong with this one?" "No," says the physicist, "that one is for my companion." "Oh," say... read more