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Neanderthal Jokes

Anthropologists tell us Neanderthal men did not walk fully erect.

Which makes sense, given what Neanderthal women looked like.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when one Neanderthal man is attracted to another Neanderthal man?

Homo Erectus.....

ill see myself out....

What did Neanderthals call Rock, Paper, Scissors?

Rock.

What do you call a Jamaican Neanderthal?

Cavemon

Two Neanderthals loved partying

They went clubbing

What does the Neanderthal cat say when he stubs his toe?

Me. Ow!

Neanderthal pickup lines...

“Hey baby, I’m fully erect.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This pretty girl walked up to a Neanderthal, winked and said in a sexy voice “Hey… is it true what they say about Neanderthal guys?”

The Neanderthal screeches a high-pitched “YES!! IT IS!!!” Then smashes her brains in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon men were just so fit and strong and sexy.

No homo

Ducks [long]

Three men died at the same time and went up to heaven together. They met Saint Peter who gave them one warning before he let them through the pearly gates. “We only have one rule in heaven, don’t step on a duck.”

The three men were slightly confused but thought “how hard could that be?” ...

Bob, a Neanderthal furniture craftsman, lugs his latest stone creation into Harry’s store.

Harry is the proud owner of Pleistocene Man Home, a thriving home goods and flint cave.

Bob, still breathing heavily from his labor, says to Harry, “Here new chair. Soft slate. No crack. Has club holder.

Harry is impressed. “Good chair! Better than chair you make for Doug”

“W...

My wife went off on a guy on Twitter and said he was demonstrating his Neanderthal genetics

I recommended she should avoid *ad hominin* attacks

What do you call a hunter class Neanderthal with Parkinson's Disease?

Shakespeare

Where did Neanderthals get their chicken wings?

Cave-FC

What's the difference between the governor of Texas and a neanderthal?

Neanderthal evolved.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a scientist who investigates early homo sapien societies but excuses their violent behaviour toward Neanderthals and other sub-species of archaic humans?

An anthro-apologist.

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I was at the Natural History Museum

and I saw the Neanderthal exhibit. Those guys were buff studs.

no homo

A Quorum

A Cro-Mangon man a Neanderthal and a Monkey walking into a bar,



The bartender says, "the RNC convention was a year ago."

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