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My neighbor has a son who is a genius. The kid graduated high school at age 13, graduated college magna cum laude at age 15, and graduated from one of the top law schools at age 17. He was admitted to the bar one month later. So, I asked my neighbor what his son's secret was.

He said that his son showed the bouncer his older brother's drivers license.

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What did the failing student say to seduce her professor?

I want you to make me cum laude

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Summa Cum Laude

Summa cum quieta.

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Talmud logic exposed

A young man in his mid-twenties knocks on the door of the noted scholar Rabbi Shwartz. “My name is Sean Goldstein,” he says. “I’ve come to you because I wish to study Talmud.”

“Do you know Aramaic?” the rabbi asks.

“No,” replies the young man.

“Hebrew?” asks the Rabbi.

“N...

An old dying man invites 3 of his friends to his deathbed and asks a favor...

He says, ‟We have been as brothers for longer than I can remember, and while I was ont rich in life, I'd like to bring some wealth with me as I die. If you could each leave $5,000 in my coffin, it would bring me great peace.”

The three men saw no fault in this, as they were all very rich, and...

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This summer I went to France to train as a cum sommelier ...

I graduated cum laude !

Socrates the philosopher . . .

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumor or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a mom...

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Some Italian scholars orgasm quietly...

...summa cum laude.

Is he permitted to be an estonian desk?

No, he's not a laud

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Be careful of having sex with distinguished students

They cum laude

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When I was growing up, I went to school with a boy named Justin Reimer.

Now, Justin's father was a Supreme Court Justice, and like father like son, Justin was the head of every political club in our school. Graduation came, he was accepted into Harvard's School of Law (to no one's surprise), and that was the last I saw of him. Or so I thought...

Twenty years late...

So a guy goes to Soviet Russia...

He's standing in line to get into a bar, and a guy walks up behind him and comments on the beauty of the American's Rolex.
As the American begins to explain all the features of his own watch he notices the Russian guy's watch. It's paper thin, nearly flush with his skin. He begins to laud it's d...

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I double majored in asian wrestling and sex therapy

I graduated sumo cum laude

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Have you heard of the 300-lb. college student from Japan?

He graduated sumo cum laude

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Do you know why smart people are annoying lovers?

Because summa them cum laude-ly

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