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Popeye Jokes

What does Popeye do to keep his favorite tool from rusting?

He sticks it in Olive Oyl...

They named a chicken joint “Popeye’s...”

...because they stick it in Olive Oil.

Popeye

What do Popeye's fingers smell like ?

Olive Oyl

How is Popeye like canned artichokes?

They both come in Olive Oil!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Why is Popeye's penis soft and smooth?

He puts it in Olive Oyl.

What part of Popeye never rusts?

The part that he sticks in Olive Oyl.

Why did Popeye beat up the Pope?

He heard he was going to Mount Olive

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Popeye never get laid?

Because Olive Oil was extra virgin.

Did you know that Popeye the Sailor Man doesn't seem strong to the Swedes and the Norwegians?

He is, however, strong to the Finnish.

How does Popeye like his martini prepared?

One Olive on the rocks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I thought Popeye was my dad

Because he's always chugging something from a can and beating up whoever my mom is fucking.

I go to Popeyes' to get the kids something to eat.

Maddie wanted the kids meal with a leg.

So I said “kids meal with the leg”

And the lady says “which side?”


Me- \*complete silence as I heavily contemplate such an odd decision


“I guess the right side, hell I don’t know what the difference is.”


Af...

Why does Popeye's tool never rust?

Because he keeps it in Olive Oil.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Popeye put on his dick to have sex?

Olive Oyle..!!

Popeye is seen as iconic in America, but how is he viewed in Finland?

Oh, he's strong to the Finnish...

What part of Popeye has the smoothest skin?

The part he dips in Olive Oyl.

What part of Popeye never gets rusty?

The part he sticks in Olive Oyl!

<Popeye laugh>

If Popeye liked escargot instead of spinach

Would he be known as Popeye the Snailorman?

What was Popeye's last name?

Pimento, because he comes in an Olive.

Did you hear about Popeye's epiphany?

He had a religious experience on the way to mount Olive.

What would you call Popeye The sailor man if he was a camera man?

Popeye DSLR Man

What is Popeye's favorite Led Zeppelin song?

Olive My Love

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was on shift at Popeye's when a woman approached my cash register and whispered in a very sexy raspy voice,"I want you to choke me."

I was locked in her lustful gaze and I replied...

"biscuits with no drink then?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between virgin olive oil and regular olive oil?

Popeye’s Knob

Popeye was a really good photographer, Because he was

“Popeye DSLR man!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Popeye have the perfect dick?

Because he's always dipping it in Olive Oyl.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happened when Napoleon went to Mount Olive?

Popeye got pissed.

Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards...

... but he's strong to the Finnish!

If you combine Basil, Parmesan, Pinenuts and Olive Oil you get Pesto. What do you get when you mix Olive Oil, Spinach and Sweet Peas?

You get the comic and cartoon classic Popeye.

A woman treated her dry hair

A woman treated her dry hair with olive oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave a smell, she washed her hair with shampoo several times. That night, in bed, she asked her husband, "Do I smell like Olive Oil?" He sniffed a little and replied "Why? Do I smell like Popeye?"

How delicious is the new Popeye's chicken sandwich?

It's so good I just came in my pants... didn't even want to waste time putting on a shirt or shoes.

What's the only Papally-approved fast food chain in the US?

Popeyes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dirty Johnny is in Sunday School when the teacher asks the class,

"What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?"

Johnny's hand shot up. Since Johnny never raised his hand, the teacher called on him.

Johnny knowingly grinned and yelled, "Popeye kicked the shit out of him".

I got olive oil in my bed

Shhhh... Don't tell Popeye!

Due to global climate change the world is set to experience a loss in olive oil

Now we can all understand the heartache Popeye felt after the tragic end of his wife.

Why can't Popeye the Sailor's enemies ever predict whether or not he's purchased spinach that day?

Because no one expects the spinach acquisition!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Day 299 without having sex

I ate two Popeyes biscuits without water so it could choke me

What is Oberyn Martell's favorite cartoon?

Popeye

Whats long, black and hard to cut into?

The line at ~~Kentucky Fried Chicken.~~ Popeyes
Edit Thanks /u/SatanicOnion

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On his recent trip to Israel, Pope Francis went to Mount Olive.

When he found out, Popeye was pissed and kicked his ass.

Why does Trump like KFC better than Popeye's Chicken?

Less to read

What is Glenn's (The Walking Dead) favorite restaurant? ***SPOILERS***

Popeyes!

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