UPJOKE
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A guy said to his psychologist, “Doc, you gotta help me. I‘m having strange, recurring dreams that I’m either a teepee or a wigwam. Every night, teepee, wigwam, teepee, wigwam! Please, make it stop!” The doctor said,

“Relax, you’re two tents.”

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A Native American boy and his cheif are sitting in a teepee together.

The boy asks the chief, "How did my mother get her name?"

The chief replies, "Well, that is a good question. Women give birth in this very teepee, and I name them what I see outside the teepee at the moment of birth. Your mother, RunningDeer, was named because when I looked outside, I saw a d...

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A Joke for Indigenous Peoples' Day

Once there was a native american named Lakota. All his tribe had normal teepees shaped like cones. But Lakota, repeatedly trying as he might could not make a normal teepee. Instead his teepee was very strange and shaped like a cube.

One day he went to an elder and asked, "why no matter how ha...

What do you call someone who sets up teepees for a living?

A cone tent creator

To the kids who teepeed my house this past Halloween:

The joke’s on you now

An Native American chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant

The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide.

A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief ...

A woman asks a psychiatrist what is wrong with her husband, who keeps saying over and over "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam."

"Easy diagnosis", the doctor says. "He's too tense."

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A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?" 
The cowboy thinks for a moment and then...

Two astronauts went to the moon

When they crawled out of their spaceship, it was a sight to behold. In the distance, there was a teepee and a Native American sitting near a fire. They approached the native and one of them said, “Hello! We’re from planet Earth!” The native, with a scared look, says, “Oh god, not again.”

Have you heard of the Indian Chief who drank 15 cups of tea before bed time?

He drowned in his teepee

There's an old Native American man that sits in a teepee along the road I take to work.

Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day. Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He's always right.

Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.

"Got no clue", he said.

I was shocked. "What's diffe...

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and exclaims "I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam!"

Psychiatrist says "Calm down! You're two tents!"

A guy walked up to me and said : “i’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam, I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam!

And i said “calm down man you’re too tense!”

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It seems that the California Dept. of Transportation wanted to build a highway that went right smack through Chief Bowels' teepee.

It seems that the California Dept. of Transportation wanted to build a highway that went right smack through Chief Bowels' teepee. Chief Bowels said, "Bowels no move," and the chief engineer said, "See my supervisor here at this address; second floor, first door on LEFT." Well, Chief Bowels found th...

A man experiencing a split personality went to the psychiatrist. One personality swore he was a teepee and the other swore he was a wigwam.

The psychiatrist replied, "You're just too tense"

I told my doctor I wasn’t sleeping well. I told him that sometimes I dream that I am a wigwam, and sometimes I dream that I am a teepee.

He said, “Well there’s your problem, you’re too tense.”

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How did you choose our names father?

A young indian boy asked his father "How did you choose our names father"?

His father replied:

""When your older sister was born I opened the flap to the teepee and looked out, naming her for the first thing I saw. So she is called Running Doe."

"When your older brother was bor...

A man suffering from terrible stress goes to a psychiatrist for help...

He sits on the couch and jitters nervously.

"What seems to be the problem," the Psychiatrist asks.

"Well Doc, I've been having these two reoccurring dreams for months, and they're really starting to worry me. I'm sleeping less because I'm scared and it's taking a toll on me"

"I...

A cowboy gets captured by Indians...

So a cowboy gets captured by indians. The indian chief comes up to him and says "ok, we're going to kill you, but I'll grant you three request before we do". The cowboy says "ok, first I'd like to talk to my horse. The chief thinks this is weird but says yes.

The cowboy whispers in his hors...

A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having an identity crisis

"Some days I feel like a teepee" he says.
"Then other days I feel like a wigwam. I dont know which one is true"

"One day, teepee! The next, wigwam! Teepee! Wigwam! Teepee! Wigwam! Teepee! Wigwam!"

The psychiatrist yells, "Get a grip, man! You're too tense!"

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A cowboy caught by the Indians

A cowboy was taken prisoner by a bunch of angry Indians. They were all prepared to kill him but their Chief declared that since they were celebrating the Great Spirit, they would grant the cowboy three wishes before he killing him. The cowboy can do nothing, but obey them.

The Chief comes up ...

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A cowboy was captured by a tribe of Indians...

In the morning he was brought before their chief, who said "You invade our land white man, and we going to kill you. But, it is our tribe's custom to grant the condemned three wishes, one each morning for three days, before we kill you at sundown on the third day. So, white man, what do you want ...

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A young Indian boy and his father are sitting in a teepee. The child asks his father,”Father, how did you decide what to name me and my brothers?”

His father replies,”Well son, as soon as you are born, I hold you in my arms and we walk outside to show you our land. When your eldest brother was born, I see a majestic soaring eagle, so I name him ‘Soaring Eagle’. I took your second brother and we saw a herd of bison, hence the name ‘Brave Bison’...

Confused man sees a psychiatrist

A man goes to see a psychiatrist.
"Doc, you gotta help me. I'm a teepee. No wait, I'm a wigwam. No, I'm definitely a teepee. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm a wigwam. Nah, I'm for sure a teepee. But actually, I'm 100% certain I'm a wigw-...."
"Stop, stop. Just stop right there, I already know wh...

A cowboy is captured by natives after a long battle.

The cowboy fought so valiantly that the natives decided to give him 3 final requests.

The cowboy is delighted and says for his first request, he wants to talk to his horse. He walks up to his horse, whispers something in his ear and the horse takes off running. A little while later he ret...

Man walks into a psychologists office and says "Doc. You gotta help Me! I'm having these terrible dreams!"

Doc asks the guy "what happens in these bad dreams?"

The guy says "Sometimes I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then a teepee, then a wigwam, teepee, wigwam, teepee, wigwam. It's all night! I can't take it!"

Doc says "you've got to calm down. You're too tense."

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A Native American boy

A Native American boy asked his father a question. “Dad, how did my sister, Beautiful Sunrise, get her name?”

“Well, I opened the teepee door and saw a beautiful sunrise on the morning of her birth.”

“That’s good, but what about my brother, Big Moon?”

“Well, I opened the teepee ...

Man goes to see a psychologist

Dr: “what brought you in today?”

Man: “I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam, I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam, I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam”

Dr: “sir you need to calm down, you’re two tents”

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An old cowboy was captured by some Indians and was taken to the chief.

The chief said, "For trespassing on our sacred land you will be put to death in 3 days, but at the morning of each day I will grant you one request."

Two young men from the tribe woke him up early the first morning and asked him what his first request is.

"Just let me talk to my horse,...

A woman tells a psychiatrist about her husband's incredibly odd behavior.

Woman: Doctor, he just keeps repeating the same thing over and over.

Doctor: What does he say?

Woman: He says "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam. I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam."

Doctor: Don't worry. I know exactly what's wrong with him, and all he needs is a little relaxation.

Woma...

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A young Native American boy walks up to his father...

...and asks "Father how do we get our names?"
Father says: "When your brother was born, I came out of the teepee and saw a bear standing in the distance, so we called your brother Standing Bear.

Then, when your sister was born, a white dove flew by the teepee when I stepped outside, so we ...

A guy goes to a museum

On the tour, the tour guide shows them an exhibition and tells them, "this is the very first, teepee designed to securely hold criminals. The Native Americans used it to house convicts".

The next day, the guy is passing the museum and sees they are taking down the name on the front of the mus...

A man on a plane started shouting hysterically:

"I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam! I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam!..." nobody could get him to stop. Finally the flight attendant went over to him. She said "calm down, you're two tents."

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A man wakes up from a nightmare in a cold sweat

He wakes his wife up to tell her about the dream.

"Honey, i dreamt I was a wigwam."

"A wigwam?"

"Exactly! A wigwam!"

His wife is disinterested, because this appears not to be scary or a nightmare.

He tries to tell his friends about it, but they aren't interested e...

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So the little Native American boy asks his father...

..."Father, how did I get my name?"

His father said, "Son, in our tribe, when a child is born, the father walks outside the teepee and names the child after the first thing he notices. For instance, when your older brother was born, I walked out of the teepee and saw a majestic eagle flying o...

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The Three Tent Test

A white man is captured by an Indian tribe. The chief of the tribe tells the man "we'll let you live if you can pass the Three Tent Test." The white man agrees very quickly, and then asks what the test actually is.

The chief says "we have 3 teepees lined up here. In the first teepee is a jar...

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Many years ago a Native American and his son were talking about the things of life.

After a pause in the conversation, the son asks, “Father, how did you come up with the names for me and my siblings?”

He replies, “As soon as each of you were born, I went out from the teepee and the first thing I saw is what I named you each. For example, after your brother was born, I looke...

A little Indian kid asks his father how the parents decide on a name for their children.

The father says, "Well, in the morning after children are consummated, the parents name the child after one of the first things they see when they leave the teepee. For instance your sister, Running Doe, or your brother, Proud Eagle. But why you ask, Two Dogs Screwing?"

A Native American boy is talking to his father...

And he says “Father, the other children at school are teasing me about my name!”

Father: “Son, your name is very special. In our tribe we name our children after a significant event that occurred during conception.

For example, when your sister Falling Water was conceived a torrential ...

More Tea!

An old Native American Chief was meeting with some Colonists for the first time. He welcomes then into his teepee and the meeting begins. As a show of good faith they offered him some tea and he absolutely loved it! The meetings conclude and the Colonists leave him some extra tea so he can enjoy it ...

Did you hear about that Native American who drank ten cups of tea one night?

They found him dead the next day in his teepee

The Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger is out checking out the countryside on Silver one day when he gets ambushed by an Indian war party. He wakes up to find himself tied up in a teepee. He looks around and sees the indian chief and a bunch of others.
The chief says to him, "Lone Ranger! At last I have you! I am g...

A man goes to the doctor

A man goes to the doctor and practically yells "Doctor! you have to help me! I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam!"

The doctor says "Sir, we've been over this a thousand times.
You have stage 3 pancreatic cancer"

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A Native American emerges with a new born...

A Native American chief emerges from a teepee with a new born in his hands, looks round at the crowd of awaiting people and announces, "this boy shall be known as "Sitting Bull"".

One young man approaches the chief and asks "Chief, why name the boy "Sitting Bull?"

"It is simple. Whe...

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Bowels no move

An Indian named Chief Bowels lived in a teepee on the reservation. One day he received a letter from the state division of highways that said that they were going to build a freeway and it would go right through where his teepee was located and he would have to move.

He was very upset about ...

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"Father, why is my brother called Flying Eagle?"

“Well son, when an Indian brave comes out from the teepee after his wife gives birth, the child is named for the first thing the father sees.”

“Oh, is that why sister is named Rising Fawn?”

“Yes. All the braves name their children this way.”

“I understand, father.”

“Ok. I...

A young Native American boy asks one of the tribe elders: “How children get their names?”

The elder replies:

“When two get married they make love in their teepee and when they are done, they look outside, and the first thing they see will be the child’s name. Why do you ask two dogs humping?”

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A guy goes to a therapist cause he's having all kinds of weird dreams

The therapists says "Did you have one last night?"

The guy tells her that he drempt of a teepee

"Hmmm, that is odd," she agrees, "but it's too little information for me to make a diagnosis. Come back in a week and we can examine what happens between now and then."

The guy comes ...

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Chief Bowulls was living in the prairies...

And one day engineers from the American railroad company comes to talk to him saying: Sir, we're sorry, but our company's bought this land to make a railroad pass through, you're going to have to move youre teepee. To which the stoic Bowulls responds: BOWULLS NO MOVE! The engineers figure that he c...

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Three Safari Men

There were three men (a pastor, a father, and a good 'ol boy redneck) that happened to be taking a safari of the Amazon rainforest when they are separated from the rest of the group. After a few days and trying to find their way back to civilization, they were captured by a local tribe, bound and b...

A man describes his dreams to the psychiatrist.

Man - "Last night I dreamed that I was a teepee. The night before I dreamed that I was a yurt. What does it mean?"
Psychiatrist - "You're two tents."

"How do we get our names?"

There was once a young Native American boy talking to his father.

"How do we get our names, dad?" The boy asked.

"Well, son," the boy's father replied, "after a baby is born we go out of the teepee and name the child after the first thing we see. This is why your great grandfather was...

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A Native American chief was teaching his son the history of their tribe.

“Father, how do we get our names?” asked the boy.

“Well son, you see, in our culture we are named in honor of the first ‘spirited ones’ our mothers see when the child is delivered.” explained the Chief.

“My father, Soaring Eagle was named for the great bald eagle that circled outside ...

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(NSFW)The pilgrim asked the Indian Chief:

"How about letting me have one of your women for a while"?
"That depends on how much money you have" the chief replied.
The pilgrim said" I don't have a nickel, all I have is a bag of corn."
The chief accepted the corn and led the pilgrim into a teepee, where a woman offered him her backsid...

A native American indian is talking to his psychiatrist

He tells him "Doc, I dont know what is wrong with me. One moment I think I'm a teepee, the next I think I'm a wigwam."

The doctor says "Ah, I think I see your problem. You're too tense."

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Old Native American joke

A young Indian boy was curious about how he got his name. He asked the chief, "Chief, how do we get our names?"

The Chief answers him, "We give names by what is outside of the teepee during ones birth.

"When your mom was born, it was a beautiful April day, so we named her BlueSky.
<...

An old Indian walks into a bank and asks for a $5000 loan.

Clerk: What are you going to do with the money?

Indian: I'm going to go into the city and sell my handmade jewelry.

Clerk: Do you have collateral?

Indian: What's collateral?

Clerk: Collateral is something of value that can cover the amount of the loan. For example, do you...

One of my Great Grandfathers favorites...

A traveling salesman steps off of a bus in a small Midwestern town. He has some time to kill so he asks the ticket counter clerk what there is to do around the area. The ticket clerk tells him that all the bars are closed because it's Sunday but if he walks down to the end of the main road there's a...

A man walks into the doctors office

A man walks into the doctors office and says 'Doc I'm not feeling to well'. The doctor asks 'What's seems to be bothering you?'.

'Well, Doc. I can't relax, and I'm having a hard timing telling the difference between a Wigwam and a Teepee.'

'It sounds like you're just two tents.'

I keep having this reoccurring dream

Every night I dream I'm constantly changing between being a teepee and a wigwam. I went to the doctor and he told me "Calm down kid, you're two tents.".

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A psychiatrist arrives for a house call and is greeted by a panicked mother

Who shows him to her son’s room. Her son had taken an extreme interest in First Nations culture in the past years going as far as packing his room with First Nations ornaments and trinkets and even changing his name to Spirit Eagle. However, the interesting state of his room was over shadowed by the...

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How the Fukarwe Indians got their Name:

The Fukarwe Indians lived in Utah about 2,000 years ago.

They were a peaceful tribe and lived in Teepees on the prarie.

One day it started raining heavily.......and kept on raining.

The prarie started to flood and they were forced to move to higher ground.

And the rain ke...

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An Indian chief was having constipation...

So he went to the doctors, and told him his situation. The doctor said "so you are a trouble having a bowel movement?" When the chief responded with yes, the doctor prescribed medicine for him. And he told the chief to come in in a week. As promised, 7 days later the chief came in. The doctor asked ...

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Why do you ask?

One day a young Pawnee boy came into the chiefs teepee. The chief sat there like a stone as his eyes focused on the boy.

Clearly the boy was troubled but very intent on his purpose.

The chief stayed still until finally the young boy has the nerve to speak. "Wizened one, where do our ...

The Lone Ranger and Tonto . . .

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were out in the desert. The Lone Ranger asked Tonto for the time. Tonto takes off his loin cloth, sporting a proud erection. Tonto looks at the shadow of his erection and says "It's 3:15".

The Lone Ranger checks his watch. Sure enough, it's 3:15.

Some time...

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Apache indian child

One day a tiny Apache indian child walked into Big Chief Sitting Bull's Teepee.

"Sitting Bull," He asked, "Why does every man in our tribe have such long, complicated names?"

"Well," says Sitting Bull, "Its simple.Whenever a baby in this tribe is born, His Father wanders outside, abs...

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Big Chief was suffering from constipation for over a week...

He hadn't laid a log in what felt like forever and this caused him great frustration, pain and discomfort. In great desperation, he decides to visit the tribe's witch doctor in the hope of finally loosening his bowels.

The witch doctor let's him in and says "Hey there Big Chief, to what do I ...

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An old Indian living in a tent....

An old Indian is living in a tent in a field. One day, construction workers drive their equipment into this field and find the old Indian. They ask him "Old Indian, what's your name?" The old Indian says "Bowels". Construction workers say "Well, you're going to have to move. We're building some...

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