Why did the amoeba fail math class?

Because it multiplied by dividing

What do you call an amoeba that heats things up?

A microbe-wave

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone once asked me to describe my sex life using an analogy. I compared it to an amoeba.

Because I reproduce alone :(

Just saw an article about brain eating amoebas becoming a potential problem in Texas (true). I remember this happened about 10 years ago in Alabama and the outcome was terrible.

Poor amoebas nearly starved to death!

Two amoebae are floating along in a prehistoric ocean.

Amoeba 1: Weird...I think I just took in a breath of air.

Amoeba 2: Nah. You're probably imagining things.

Amoeba 1: Yeah. False aspirations, I guess.

Why are Amoebas so bad at math?

Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.

Brain-eating amoeba

You're not you when it's hungry

How many amoebas does it takes to change a lightbulb?

One. No, two. No, four. No, eight … AHH!

What do you call it when an amoeba commits suicide?

Cellpuku

What did the Spannish Amoeba said to the other Amoebas?

"Hola Amoebas!"

I hate being single

It's just amoeba myself.

A man went to college

A man from Alabama comes back to his hometown for a visit after his first year in college.

His friend meets up with him and asks what he learned from college?

Man: Well I learned biology for one.

Friend: Oh really? Speak in biology to prove it.

Man: Amoeba, nucleus, and ...

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