Mandarin Jokes

Licking Amanda out.

A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.

So the couple produces photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.... read more

But I would prefer too eat Amanda out.

I was then told that was *not* how you say "HI" in Mandarin....

Though I could have sworn the syllabus said "Calculus 2".

What? What do you mean it's the *Mandela* effect?

...because he was a crushed Asian.

I’d been learning a little Mandarin and was trying to have some basic conversation with her. She asked why I know Mandarin. I joked: “For when China takes over.”. She got very mad and said “China doesn’t want to take over anything, they just want to live in peace!”. I asked, “What about Hong Ko... read more

because he didn't know Mandarin

I fear I've wasted my life. I spent years and years learning Latin, Spanish, Mandarin, and Swahili but it turns out I just misheard my uncle when I though he told me "girls love a cunning linguist".

He said “Nǐ hǎo, nǐ hǎo ma?”

I said, “Is that a kumquat?”

He said, “Nah, it’s just a little mandarin”

Starved to death on the way down.

(Translated from Mandarin, every Chinese kid knows this joke, not sure if it works in English).

Mandarin oranges

Because they all speak Mandarin

She is Chinese. So he learned to ask her in Mandarin. When she answered, he stared at her blankly.

He forgot to learn the words "yes" & "no".

*context* I work in a fruit and veg shop. I told this joke to all of the people doing fruit. I think I need a new job

What's the opposite of a mandarin?

A mandarout

When I was young my parents started up a shoe store, which wasn’t overly successful but they made ends meet. Due to various economic pressures they had to outsource labour overseas to China. My father, Bob, could speak Mandarin so always conversed with the manager of the production plant in their na... read more

Because it's a Mandarin word

The bartender looks at the orange and says " sorry I don't speak mandarin"

A young chinese boy has been having a tough time ever since he moved to America. He could barely speak English, was socially awkward and was constantly bullied at school. His mother, his only family, was in the hospital with a rare illness. The nurse taking care of his mother was the most beautiful... read more