Had to take a drug test at work today. They said they found Opiates. I told them it was probably the poppy seeds on my bagel.

But then they asked about the THC, meth amphetamines, cocaine, and hallucinogens. Told them it was an everything bagel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blind man got a poppy seeds bun.

"Who wrote this shit?"

A blind man walks into the bakery

A blind man walks into the bakery and asks for 8 poppy seed breads. While the baker gathers them for him, he asks: are you expecting any visitors? No, replies the blind man. But I’m going on vacation, and they have such lovely story’s written on them!

Where did Oscar the Grouch get all of his opiates from?

Poppy street

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hannibal the bull:

Once upon a time, in a farm not quite far, there was a bull named Hannibal. Hannibal was in love with Poppy, the neighbor's cow.

but their enclosures were separated by a barbed fence, and therefore, they could only talk.

And everyday, Poppy asked Hannibal to come over, and everyday, Ha...

Children’s names

A mother and her children were talking. “Mom, why is my name rose?”said Rose.
Mom replied “when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head, so we named you Rose.”
“Why am I called Poppy?”said another child.
“Because when you were a baby, a Poppy petal fell on your head, so we called y...

An elderly couple invites another couple over for dinner.

After their meal, the wives left the table to go clean up in the kitchen.

The two elderly gents were left talking, and one says to the other, "Last night we went out to this fantastic new restaurant. I'd highly recommend it."

The other man says: "What's the name of the restaur...

Respect for the fallen

I once dated a girl with a tattoo of a poppy on her backside.

It was in memory of all those who had died at the front.

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