A man gets a call from his doctor after a drug test.
"You've tested positive for opiates." The doctor said.
The man quickly replied: "Oh I had a bagel with poppy seeds earlier."
"Yes well you also tested positive for cannabis, LSD, and cocaine."
"...It was an everything bagel."
I'm so amazing. I just rode my thoroughbred through a poppy field
But I should get off my high horse
George goes inside a market to buy some food...
He got to the vegetable section and said to the lady who was selling the veg:
George: Hello miss!
Lady: Hello sir, how can I help you?
George: Can i please have 5 kilograms of potatoes but can you wrap them individually in a piece of paper?
Lady: Sure! So, she wrapped eac...
A mother and her children were talking. “Mom, why is my name rose?”said Rose. Mom replied “when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head, so we named you Rose.” “Why am I called Poppy?”said another child. “Because when you were a baby, a Poppy petal fell on your head, so we called y...
Two elderly couples were having dinner together
An elderly couple was having dinner at another couple's house. After their meal, the wives went into the kitchen.
The two elderly gents were talking, and one says, "Last night we went out to a fabulous new restaurant that I'd highly recommend."
The other man says, "What's the name of t...
Where did Oscar the Grouch get all of his opiates from?
A blind man walks into the bakery
A blind man walks into the bakery and asks for 8 poppy seed breads. While the baker gathers them for him, he asks: are you expecting any visitors? No, replies the blind man. But I’m going on vacation, and they have such lovely story’s written on them!
Respect for the fallen
I once dated a girl with a tattoo of a poppy on her backside.
It was in memory of all those who had died at the front.