UPJOKE
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Orchid Jokes

Angelina Jolie walks into a florists.'I'd like to buy some flowers', she says. 'Orchids?' says the florist.

'No, just flowers today'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex with a girl at an apple orchid and she ended up getting pregnant...

It's probably because I came in cider.

A Guy and his Girlfriend

A guy was taking his girlfriend to prom. Getting ready, he went to a tux rental shop. There was a huge line but he eventually got his tuxedo.

He then went to the florist. Again, there was a huge line, but he got the orchid in the end.

Then he went to the limo rental place, and there w...

Four friends decide to create a new tradition

They all have their birthdays the same week, so when they turn 50, they decide they would go every ten years to celebrate at a fancy restaurant.

The first time, when they turn 50, they have a discussion about where to go.

Friend 1: Let's go to the *Thai Orchid*, I heard they have reall...

A guy gives flowers to all of his family. To his wife he gives roses, to his parents he gives orchids, to his daughters he gives daisies.

And to his sons, he gives sunflowers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A paedophile goings into a florist and says “I’d like to order some flowers”

“Orchids?” asks the florist

“No, just the flowers” he replied

July in Honolulu

July in Honolulu is a tough time flower-wise for making garlands. Often they run out of the desired plumerias, carnations, and orchids. When that happens, they have to make substitutions, which is why the Hawaiians refer to July's garlands as the Daisy Leis of Summer

What did the lady that dislikes flowers and children say?

I don’t like orchids or kids

Names

The mother of three children is lying in the hospital on her death bed.
Her daughter Rose walks in, "Mom, why did you name me rose?" "Because the day you were born a rose petal fell on your head so we named you 'Rose.'"
Then, her daughter Orchid asked her, "Mom, then how come I'm named Orchid...

A newly wed couple were talking their new home

A newly wed couple were taking to their new home

Husband says "How about some flowers?"

The wife slyly mentions "Or Kids to help liven the place"

The Husband smiles and replys good idea

The next day, the husband brings home orchids

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] One of my favorite jokes from BoJack Horseman

Okay so there's this gardener right?
So the amazing thing about this gardener is that he always knows exactly how many bags of mulch he needs for a job, just by looking. Like he gets it right, every time. He's the best.
So one day, he looks at a yard he's working on and he's like... 18 bags. S...

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