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Preposition Jokes

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As a Grammar Nazi, it absolutely irritates me when I see anyone ending a sentence with a preposition.

That is just the sort of English up with which I simply cannot put.

The next time I see someone ending a sentence with a preposition

I shall give them what for.

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition.

On his 74th birthday, an old man received a gift certificate from his wife...

The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded to go, he drove to the reservati...

Prepositions never have to go the extra mile

They’ve always been above and beyond

Vowels, who borrowed 50 bucks from preposition 5 months ago goes back to return it.

But because of some reason preposition couldn't remember anything about it and asks what this is about. Vowels exclaimed- "Ae! I owe you!"

My English teacher said I can't end a sentence with a preposition...

I don't think she knows who she's dealing with.

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Ending a sentence with a preposition.

A snobbish English teacher was sitting in an Atlanta airport coffee shop waiting for her flight back to Connecticut, when a friendly Southern Belle sat down next to her.

"Where y'all goin' to?" asked the Southern Belle.

Turning her nose in the air, the snob replied "I don't answer peop...

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A villager had a small penis and hated it...

One day, he decided he's had enough of his pitiful manhood and goes to see the village elder.

The elder referred him to a shaman living in the center of a village, so he went to see the shaman. When he got there, he told the shaman about his small penis.

The shaman nodded his head, and...

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A preposition is something you shouldn't end a sentence with

fucker.

My friend kept nagging me to donate one of my prepositions to charity.

Eventually, I gave in.

The Rules of Writing

1: Always avoid alliterations

2: A preposition is not something to end a sentence with

3) Be consistent

4: Don’t restate ideas

5: Don’t be redundant

6: And never start a sentence with a conjunction

A visitor to Harvard asks a professor...

A visitor to Harvard asks a professor, "Excuse me, but would you be good enough to tell me where the Harvard Library is at?"

"Sir," came the sneering reply, "at Harvard we do not end a sentence with a preposition."

"Well, in that case, forgive me," said the visitor. "Permit me to rephr...

My English teacher constantly makes fun of me because I confuse my prepositions.

He's always rubbing it out.

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A dude is lost on an ivy league campus...

He stops someone and asks, "Excuse me. Where's the library at?"

They respond, "My good fellow. This is an ivy league university. Here we do not end our sentences with a preposition."

The dude looks shocked and embarrassed. "I am so sorry. I seem to have forgotten myself. I meant to ask...

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A Southern lady sits down next to a Yankee businesswoman on a plane. Trying to be friendly, the Southerner asks, "So, where ya'all from?"

The Yankee sniffs in disdain and replies, "Where I'm from, we don't end our sentences in prepositions!"

The lady, a little shocked by the rudeness says, "Aight, where ya'all from, bitch?"

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Clerk: What may I help you with?

Me: You shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition.

Clerk: OK. What may I help you with, bitch?

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A man visits Harvard

Visitor in Harvard Square: "Excuse me, where's the library at?"

Harvard student: "Sir, this is Harvard. We don't end our sentences with prepositions."

Visitor: "Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to ask, where's the library at, asshole?"

I swear I just troll-dadded this on the spot when my daughter asked...

"Dad, what's a preposition?"

"A preposition is a word that you never, ever end a sentence with."

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A southern girl and a northern girl meet.

A girl from the South and a girl from the North were seated side by side on a plane. The girl from the South, being friendly and all, said, "So, where ya'll from?"

The Northern girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use
a preposition at the end of a sentence."

The g...

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An Englishman comes to Harvard.

Unable to find out the way to the library, he approaches an undergrad. The subsequent conversation is as follows-

Englishman: Excuse me. Could you kindly enlighten me where the library is at?

Undergrad: It’s Harvard. People don’t end sentences with a preposition here.

Englishma...

An Oxford Graduate walks into a bar

Some Texans are mingling at the bar when an Oxford graduate walks in. “Howdy, stranger,” one Texan says. “Where are you from?”

The Oxford graduate answers, “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” replies the Texan. “Where are you from, ...

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A girl is on a plane..

And an old woman sits next to her. "Where you from?" says the girl. "I'm sorry," replies the woman, "but I never answer a question that ends in a preposition, such as 'from.' Kindly do try again." The girl thinks for a second and says, "okay! Where you from, bitch?"

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A guy from out of state was roaming around the Harvard campus, a bit lost, when he came upon a distinguished looking gentleman reading on a park bench, possibly a professor. The guy asked him politely - "Hey, where's the library at?". The man looked up with a frown, and responded "This is Harvard,

good sir, we don't end our sentences with a preposition".

To which the guy replied - "My apologies. Where the library at, asshole?"

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A young guy was visiting his friend at Harvard University.

He was supposed to meet his friend at the library, but he got lost. He sees another guy coming up the walkway, so he asks, "Hey man, where's the library at?"

Th student turns up his nose and says, "Here at Harvard, we never end a sentence with a preposition."

The guy replied, "Sorry, m...

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Two college girls are moving into their dorm

One girl is from Georgia and one is from Connecticut and she is with her mother.

The girl from Georgia walks up and says, “hey, where y’all from?”

Connecticut girl: “Where we’re from, you don’t end a sentence with a preposition,” she laughs.

The girl from Georgia responds: “Oh...

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A Southern Belle and snobby New York socialite meet at a swanky party.

The southern belle says, “How nice to meet you! Where are y’all from?”

The snob sniffs and says, “I am from a place where we do not end our sentences with a preposition.”

So the belle says, “Oh, I’m so sorry. Where are y’all from, *bitch*?”

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A gentleman is wandering around the campus of a school looking for the library...

He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?”

The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I'm sorry, sir. But at this school we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!”

The ...

Kid in park (crying): "I don't know where my mom's gone to!"

Me: "Oh no, that's terrible!"

Wife: :Talk to him."

Me: (kneeling) "Hey, kid, don't end a sentence with a preposition."

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A mechanic drops his daughter off at Harvard for her first day of college.

As he tries to find his way off campus, he realizes he needs to use the restroom, so he asks a student, “Excuse me, but do you know where the nearest restroom is at?”

The student replies, “Sir, at Harvard we never end a sentence with a preposition.”

The mechanic replies, “Oh, my mistak...

A guy in a bar

A guy in a bar turned to the woman next to him and says, "above, off, on, out, over, in, from, for."

The woman turns to him and asks, "are you trying to preposition me?"

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A country boy gets accepted into Harvard.

He can’t find the library, so he finds another student on campus.

“Excuse me, do you know where the library is at?”

The student looks at the country boy disapprovingly and says,

“My good sir, here at Harvard we don’t end our sentences with prepositions.”

The country boy r...

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A Texan visits Harvard ...

He meets a student and asks, "Say there, do you know where the bathroom's at?" The student replies, "Sir, here at Harvard we speak properly, and certainly don't end our sentences with prepositions."

Texan replies, "OK, where's the bathroom at, asshole?"

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A blonde is sitting next to a brunette on a plane. She turns to the dark haired woman and asks, "Where are you from?"

The brunette haughtily replies, "I'm from a place where we know better than to end a sentence with a preposition."

The blonde pauses for a second and then asks, "Where are you from, bitch?"

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A Texan arrived for his first day at Harvard University ...

A Texan arrived for his first day at Harvard University and found himself lost in the yard. He stopped a professor who was walking by and said to him, "Howdy Pardner, could y'all tell me where that there library is at?"

The professor couldn't believe his ears. "What did you say?" he said.
...

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A boy once asked a man...

“Where is the library at?” The man said, “Around here we don’t use prepositions at the ends on sentences.” The boy then said, “Ok, where is the library at, shithead?”

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Grammar Nazi

A visitor to Harvard stopped a student on the Yard and asked, "Can you tell me where the library's at?"

The student replied, "At Harvard, we do not end sentences with prepositions."

The visitor thinks a moment and rephrases his question. "Can you tell me where the library's at, asshole...

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A lady from New York and a Lady from Texas

sitting on a plane in first class.
The lady from Texas says "Where y'all from?"
The lady from New York idignantly answers
"I am from a place where we do not end a sentence in a preposition!"
The lady from Texas smiles and says " Where y'all from bitch?"

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Two old ladies were seated next to each other on a train.

The first lady turns to the other and asks, "where you headed to?" The second lady replied with disgust, " I'm heading to a place where they know not to end a sentence in a preposition." The first lady sits quietly for a minute then turns back to the second and says, "so, where you headed to, bitch....

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A man is walking around Harvard University,

He asked somebody " Excuse me, Can you tell me where the library is?". The student replies " Sorry here at Harvard we don't finish our sentences with prepositions". The man then said " Okay can you tell me where the library is asshole? "

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A freshman at Harvard wanted to go to the library

So he stopped and asked a senior student, “Do you know where the library is at?”

The senior looks disgustingly at him, and, with a snobbish tone replied, “Hmph! We here at Harvard never end our sentences with prepositions!”

“I’m sorry”, the freshman apologises, “I meant to say, do you ...

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You wanna hear my favourite grammar joke?

Two girls were talking on the phone, making plans for their night. One girl says to the other, "where's the party at?" and the other girls says, "don't end your sentence with a preposition!" So the first girl says, "fine... Where's the party at, Bitch!?"

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A rural farmer visits his cousin, a librarian at Harvard.

The campus being as big as it is, he finds a random student and asks, "Excuse me ma'am, where's the library at?"

The student is visibly offended and says, "Sir, this is Harvard, we don't end sentences with prepositions!"

The farmer thinks for a bit and replies, "Oh, right. Where's th...

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A young man is touring Harvard campus and decides to ask for directions on how to get to the library.

He finds a girl reading a book under a tree and says "Excuse me, can you tell me where the library's at?" She cringes and says "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The young man look confused for a second and replies, "I'm sorry - can you tell me where the library's at... bitch?"

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A good old boy from Mississippi gets accepted to Yale. On the first day on campus, he stops a student and asks "Where is the library at?"

The students seems non-plussed, and says with condescension, "At Yale, sir, we don't end questions with a preposition."

Unfazed, the good old boy says, "Ok, so where's the library at, ASSHOLE?"

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American Woman on a train in the UK

An American woman boards a train in the UK. She sits down next to an English woman and decides to strike up a conversation with her.

"Hello, Miss. Where are you from?" she asks.

The British woman glares at the American and says, "From a place where we don't end our sentences in preposi...

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A man walks onto the campus of Yale university

He walks up to a student and asks "where's the bathroom at?"
The student responds haughtily, "here at Yale, we're taught not to end a sentence with a preposition.
The man realizing his mistake corrects himself, "where's the bathroom at, asshole?"

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Where y'all from?

Two freshmen girls are moving into their dorm room together.

One of them's from Georgia, one of them's from Connecticut.

The girl from Connecticut's helping her mother put up curtains.

Girl from Georgia turns to them and says, "Hi. Where y'all from?"

Girl from Connecti...

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A country boy gets into Harvard and meets his posh roommate...

He asks, "Hey, y'all know where the bathrooms are at?"

The roommate replies, "Here at Harvard, one would do well to know not to end their sentences in a preposition."

The hick responds, "Aight, where the bathrooms at shithead?"

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A husband asks "Honey do you know where the TV remote is at"

His wife snarkly replies "Don't end your sentences in a preposition"

The husband smiles back and says "Sorry. Do you know where the TV remote is at, bitch"

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Wheres the library at?

So a guy from Minnesota goes to Harvard and he goes up to one of the students and asks, "hey could you tell me where the library is at"? and the student snobbly replies, "This is Harvard we don't end our sentences with prepositions". To which the student form Minnesota replies, "okay, could you tell...

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An American Travels to Oxford

An American tourist visiting Oxford asks students sitting in the park, “Excuse me, where’s the library at?”

“Sir, this is Oxford. We do not end our sentences with prepositions.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Where’s the library at, asshole?”

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An snobby woman stops at a local diner while traveling...

and orders a coffee. Trying to start a conversation, the waitress asks, "So, where are you from?"
"Where I am from, we do not end sentences with prepositions." the woman replies.
The waitress apologizes and tries again, "So, where are you from, Bitch?"

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A Mississippi Girl is flying on an airplane for the first time when...

...a smartly-dressed older woman sits down and arranges herself in the seat next to the girl.

"So, where y'all from?" the girl asks cheerfully.

The woman slowly takes out a handkerchief, dabs at her forehead and the corners of her mouth, and clears her throat before answering...
...

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A city girl and a country girl meet for the first time...

A city girl and a country girl meet for the first time attending a class together. The country girls asks, " So, where y'all from? " The city girl scoffs, and replies: " Well, where I come from, we know better than to end a sentence with a preposition." To this the country girl pauses, thinks for ...

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So, my friend went to visit Princeton.

He stopped one of the students there and asked them, "Where's the library at?"

The student felt absolutely insulted and retorted, "Here at Princeton, we do not end our questions with a preposition."

My friend then said, "Okay, where's the library at, asshole?"

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A man was pressured by his parents to attend a formal gathering...

Everything was going fairly well. He was largely being ignored, which was for the best so he avoided saying anything to embarrass himself.
Unfortunately, he had been holding in a nearly full bladder full a while and it could not wait until the end of the party. he had no choice but to walk up to ...

For anyone who gets confused about proper grammar and style in writing

I offer from the Internet, the following tip sheet, "How to Write Good":

- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Contractions aren't necessary
- The passive voice is to be avoided.
- Prepositions are not the words to end sentences with.
- Be more or less specific.
- ...

A group of generals has a conference to see how they shall deal with a particularly troublesome guerilla fighter.

They have intel that the man is holed up at the top of a mountain in thick forest, and make plans to storm his secret base. They draw up plans, counterplans, contingency plans. They make plans for if they execute the plans made for if their plans fail, only to find out that their original plans succ...

5 Tips To Improve Your Writing

1. Contractions aren't necessary.

2. Do not overuse exclamation points!!!!!!

3. Don't be redundant, because it can be boring to read the same things over and over again, just restated.

4. Do not appear condescending to your readers. "Condescending" means to look down upon someon...

Grammar joke

I told my girlfriend "sweetie, I want you beside me, in front of me,behind me, on top of me, under me, and to the left and right of me" she said "Honey, are you prepositioning me?"

After developing erectile dysfunction, a man tries all the medically recognised treatment...

Pharmaceuticals, change in diet etc. Nothing worked. At the end of his rope, he gives a medicine man a try. The medicine man gives him a natural remedy and tells him, "When you're ready for it to take effect, say, '1,2,3'. When you're done, say, '1,2,3,4'."
The medicine man assured him it would w...

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A young man is meeting his friend at the Harvard Library...

and is having a little trouble finding it on the massive campus.
He sees a student walking by and decides to ask him for directions.
"Excuse me, but can you tell me where the library is at?"

the student answers in a stuffy tone, "Sir, this is Harvard University, and at Harvard; we don't...

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Some good tips for your English class.

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It...

An impotent man goes to see a shaman about a cure.

The shaman works his magic and tells the man that he is healed. All he has to do to get it up is say 1, 2, 3, and to get rid of it he has to say 1, 2, 3, 4. However, he can only do this once a month.

So the man drives home really excited to show his wife. He says "look honey it works! 1, 2...

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Anniversary

On their 40th anniversary, a woman gives her husband a voucher to visit a witch doctor about his erectile dysfunction.

The man asks the doctor what to do about his problem-he just had trouble standing at attention, now that he's over the hill. The witch doctor gives him a medicine and says, ...

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A Scottish Rugby Player Visits Harvard

A Scottish rugby player at the end of his high school career is ecstatic to find out he is being considered for a scholarship to Harvard. All he has to do is show up to visit the coach and he's sure to be a shoe-in.
-
After a long flight, he finds himself on Harvard's campus, but without a cam...

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