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Video Games Jokes

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Grandpa tells his grandson, "All you kids do these days is play video games."

"When I was your age", he continued, "my buddies and I went to Paris; we went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, we didn't pay for our drinks all night and when the bartender complained we pissed on him”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the M...

A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his business.

His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!"

"I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"

A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"

The kid ignores him.

"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDr...

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much...

What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

Video games are great, they let you try your craziest fantasies

For example, on the sims, you can have a job and a house

My girlfriend texted me that the relationship cannot continue because I played too much video games.

Looks like it was my Destiny 2 break up with her.

Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.”

“Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like my sex life like how I like my video games

Single player

Video games never made me angry or want to hurt people.

Working in customer service already did that.

I asked a Frenchman if he played video games

He said ‘Wii’

How do amputees win video games?

Single-handedly

Dating in 2020's is like video games lootboxs

You don't know what you are getting unless you pay enough money and discover later on

Why does Jesus hates playing video games?

Because it takes him three days to respawn.

I love video games with a female protagonist.

It's a breath of fresh air when you're married to a female antagonist.

what kind of video games do dogs like?

Anyone with a fetch quest

What do you call someone who's on top of everything when it comes to news, technology, video games, nsfw, and everything else?

an Apex redditor

I was playing video games last night while my son was sitting next to me watching. He said, "dad I wish real life was more like video games."

So I locked him in his room and told him if he wants access to the rest of the house he will have to pay .99 for the DLC.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Things I've learned from video games

My mother has been fucked to death many times.

I'm really a cigarette in disguise.

I'm also actually of African descent, my father will be very upset to find that one out. Though my real father is probably one of those random people who fucked her to death.

A lot of people are m...

Why are you always watching other people play video games on Twitch son? Sounds boring.

Anyway, gotta catch the football game on TV.

Stop blaming the video games for violence.

Some of you played Mortal Kombat your whole lives and never learned how to finish her.

If video games were a human body, which would be the worst part?

Defeat

If video games make children more violent...

why do they keep losing fistfights against me?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I played video games for 8 hours, I'd be called a loser bum

But if I watched TV for 8 hours straight, people would just think I didn't have anything to do that day

My 12 year old just told me a joke

He said “I’ve been trying to cut down the amount of video games I play, I’m only playing for 30 minutes before I go to bed. Last night I went to bed 8 times.”

My life was ruined by my obsession with video games.

Fortunately, I had another two lives.

I hate when people blame video games for mass shooting

Like what am I gonna do shoot up the school with a copy of doom

What do online video games and sonnets have in common?

Both end in a GG.

All these video games with epic orchestral music scores.

Those concerned mums were right, there's way too much violins in video games.

My brother's doctor says he can no longer play video games, and he's taking it very hard

He's inconsolable

[Video Games] I love all the Wolfenstein games but...

...I just wish there was an option to play as the good guys.

Why can't dogs play video games?

Because the pause keeps stopping them.

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I always have exactly 8 Strength in video games

Because I'm not gay.

The day after violent video games became illegal...

...a school was flooded with lava in the world's first mass griefing.

Jeffery Epstein likes his video games like he likes his suicides

Co-op

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Tits are like video games ...

They were created for kids, but the adults love to play with them!

I beat my chiropodist at poker, pool, darts, table tennis AND 15 different video games, but at no point did he stop smiling.

The man knows how to deal with de feet.

Why are Boy Scouts annoying to play video games with?

Because they’re good at camping!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do video games have in common with your dick?

They get really hard but eventually you beat it anyway.

I don't want to say video games cause violence...

...but after a month of playing Pong, I beat Rafael Nadal in a best of five match and might be Venus Williams' new baby daddy.

My wife left me because "I am addicted to video games"..

I was so sad I could hardly console myself

If nuns cheated at video games...

...they'd prefer using god mode.

I read on a newspaper about video games...

I was reading a newspaper and i saw an interesting title about video games: “You should not spend more than 5 hours a week playing video games” it said.

At first i thought it meant 5 hours a day but then i realized that i am wrong and it is really saying 5 hours a week.

According to wh...

Gamers say video games don't encourage violence.

Yet this new Star Wars Battlefront has got everyone wielding pitchforks.

TIL that in most video games it's better to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons

Because that way you don't have to worry about Fall damage

What alcohol do you drink in survival video games?

Craft beers

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Video games and dicks

What's the difference between video games and dicks?

Video games take longer to beat.

Why are men better at video games than women?

Because men have their own joystick

Video games are becoming more and more realistic...

Because they're becoming more and more pay-to-win

At first I wanted to break up with my girlfriend because she didn’t like to play video games...

It wasn’t really something to Fallout 4.

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