A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business. His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!" "I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"

A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"

The kid ignores him.

"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"

The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."

"...

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My grandpa told me, "All you kids do these days is play video games."

"When I was your age", he continued, "my buddies and I went to Paris; we went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, we didn't pay for our drinks all night and when the bartender complained we pissed on him”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the M...

My life was ruined by my obsession with video games.

Fortunately, I had another two lives.

Hey, have you heard of the person who got dumped over playing too much video games?

That's such a trivial thing to Fallout 4.

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Things I've learned from video games

My mother has been fucked to death many times.

I'm really a cigarette in disguise.

I'm also actually of African descent, my father will be very upset to find that one out. Though my real father is probably one of those random people who fucked her to death.

A lot of people are m...

Asked my French friend if he played any video games

He said "wii"

I hate when people blame video games for mass shooting

Like what am I gonna do shoot up the school with a copy of doom

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Ok r/askreddit if you had to give up video games or blow jobs for the rest of your life what would you choose?

Edit: Yea guys I'd pick blow jobs too, they hurt my jaw

TIL that in most video games it's better to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons

Because that way you don't have to worry about Fall damage

There’s no way video games cause violence.

If they did, school shootings would involve a LOT more tea bagging.

What do online video games and sonnets have in common?

Both end in a GG.

I think video games like Call of Duty set a terrible example for children.

There's no lag when you shoot someone in real life.

Video games are great, they let you try your craziest fantasies

For example, on the sims, you can have a job and a house

I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!

wait....

People are forever going on about how video games are an unhealthy influence on the young.

But I grew up in the 1980s when all we had was Pacman and it's not like we spent all our time running around in the dark munching pills to weird repetitive music!

Jeffery Epstein likes his video games like he likes his suicides

Co-op

Stop blaming the video games for violence.

Some of you played Mortal Kombat your whole lives and never learned how to finish her.

Video games never made me angry or want to hurt people.

Working in customer service already did that.

I was playing video games last night while my son was sitting next to me watching. He said, "dad I wish real life was more like video games."

So I locked him in his room and told him if he wants access to the rest of the house he will have to pay .99 for the DLC.

My girlfriend texted me that the relationship cannot continue because I played too much video games.

Looks like it was my Destiny 2 break up with her.

In 2019 if you were unemployed and stayed home all day playing video games, you were a lazy bum.

In 2020 this would make you a responsible adult.

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I always have exactly 8 Strength in video games

Because I'm not gay.

I beat my kids when we play my old video games.

Sometimes I win at the games, too.

Why are Boy Scouts annoying to play video games with?

Because they’re good at camping!

What did our parents do when they were bored back in the days before the internet or video games?

I asked this question to my 24 brothers and sisters too...

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A guy in a wheelchair asked me why I watch people play video games instead of playing them myself.

I looked at him and asked “Why the fuck are you wearing shoes?”

I wasn't allowed to speak at a university conference about jump mechanics in video games..

..due to no platforming.

My mom asked me how I can have fun playing video games all the time...

I said, "They're actually designed that way."

Why does Jesus hates playing video games?

Because it takes him three days to respawn.

The day after violent video games became illegal...

...a school was flooded with lava in the world's first mass griefing.

A Male kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a scotch and starts talking about the good old days when nobody was on their phones, when video games were for the rich, and the ozone layer was whole.

“Ok boomer”

Super Smash Bros. is a good example of how NOT to do minority representation in video games

The only black character is incredibly two-dimensional

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If I played video games for 8 hours, I'd be called a loser bum

But if I watched TV for 8 hours straight, people would just think I didn't have anything to do that day

Thanks to video games, kids today have a warped sense of the word "Boss"...

Last weekend I introduced my son to my boss ...he drank a potion, then attacked her!

My wife left me because I spend too much time playing video games

Now I do it because I enjoy it

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