What was the most rampant STD in the crocodile community in the 1980s? (NSFW)
1980s European leaders Mitterrand, Brezhnev and Thatcher were flying around Europe in a helicopter, trying to recognize cities without seeing them.
Thatcher went first. She stuck her ear out the window and stated: "I can hear Big Ben chime. This is London!"
Next was Mitterrand. He stuck his nose out and stated: "I can smell fresh baguette. This is Paris!"
Last was Brezhnev. He stuck his hand out and yelped: "What... hey! Somebody ...
Back in the 1980s the soviets had their own version of the American toy Stretch Armstrong. They modeled it after their hero, Karl.
The toy was called Stretch Marx.
Mikhail Gorbachev started an anti-alcohol campaign in USSR in 1980s. People went crazy because of the restrictions on selling of alcohol. An old Soviet joke went like this:
“A disaffected and angry citizen, fed up of standing in lines for vodka, decided to go assassinate Gorbachev. He soon came back and ruefully reported that the lines to assassinate Gorbachev were even longer than the lines for vodka.”
My friend swears he's a 1980s popstar
I keep trying to talk him out of it but he's Adam Ant
Not my joke it's an oldie but it always makes me laugh
In the 1980s, Gorbachev was adored by the West...
... But very much hated by his own people. All of Russia despised the man who caved in to the West and weakened the mighty Soviet Union. Many wanted to have his head, even his officials and the KGB.
One day at the Red Square, Gorbachev was giving a speech in front of the public. The KGB deci...
An American and a Russian are arguing about freedom in their countries during the 1980s
American: Look, in my country I can walk into the Oval Office, pound the President's desk and say Mr. President, I don't like the way you're running our country.
Russian: Well, I can do that too.
American: You can?
Russian: Yes. I can walk into the Kremlin, go to the General Se...
I just saw two really large spiders dancing to some 1980s music.
I think they were Duran Durantulas.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A fourth-generation prostitute goes home to her great-grandmother's house for a family dinner...
She begins complaining to her family about work. "Geeze! Men these days complain about paying $50 for a blowjob! It's hard work! I *earn* that money!"
Mom, who was a hooker in the 1980s laughs. "Fifty bucks!? You're complaining about that? When I was on the streets, we were lucky to get $20!"...
People are forever going on about how video games are an unhealthy influence on the young.
But I grew up in the 1980s when all we had was Pacman and it's not like we spent all our time running around in the dark munching pills to weird repetitive music!
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The New New Math....
I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tel...
If a millennial asks you...
If a millennial asks you why people in old photos have red eyes
Tell them that they're too young to remember the demon uprising of the 1980s
Another Soviet Joke
In the late 1980s, Mikhail Gorbachev, tried to curb alcoholism deaths by limiting the times and places vodka was sold, resulting in huge lines.
One man, in line for vodka, says " I can't take this, save my place, I'm going to the Kremlin to assassinate Gorbachev.", and he trudges off into t...
1980s. Soviet Economy minister is making speech at Communist Party session:
- According to latest statistics, our incomes rose 20%, our quality of life rose 30% and our buying economic power rose 40%
From the audience: That's great that YOURS did, but what about OURS??
Twenty-five years ago, in December of 1991, the Soviet Union disintegrated. Humorist J.P. O'Rourke, the author of "The Baby Boom: How It Got That Way" told us, "Many of my favorite jokes came from behind the Iron Curtain. Maybe because humor was particularly sharp because it was the only weapon peop...