1980s Jokes - 21 Hilarious 1980s Jokes

An older man is finally able to leave the Soviet Union in the late 1980s for the first time in his life.

His wife and son have already left and settled in the States, and he's finally able to go and join them.

On his way out through the Soviet border, the guard looks through his luggage and finds a bust of Lenin.

"What is this?" he asks.

"Don't ask me *what* this is, ask me *who* ...

My mate just watched the Chernobyl documentary and, having grown up in Ukraine in the 1980s, he was pretty mad.

And I get it, too. He counted at least eight historical inaccuracies on one hand.

Joke from 1980s sitcom Cheers

Diane: (to coach) can you name a car that starts with P?

Coach: Uh, Pontiac, Porsche ...

Diane: No, Coach, those cars start with gas.

in the 1980s they blamed heavy metal music for violent youth.

Now it's 2022 and their still blaming the doors.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two American business men in the 1980s are visiting Tokyo, Japan to make a business deal with an electronics company

Sadly the CEO (Mr. Yamoto) had an unexpected issue to deal with at one of his factories and couldn't see the men that day, but had his COO (Mr. Hagino) not only invite the two Americans to join them for a round of golf the next day to discuss business, but also to show them around and keep them ent...

My friend swears he's a 1980s popstar

I keep trying to talk him out of it but he's Adam Ant

Not my joke it's an oldie but it always makes me laugh

In the 1980s, Gorbachev was adored by the West...

... But very much hated by his own people. All of Russia despised the man who caved in to the West and weakened the mighty Soviet Union. Many wanted to have his head, even his officials and the KGB.

One day at the Red Square, Gorbachev was giving a speech in front of the public. The KGB deci...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fourth-generation prostitute goes home to her great-grandmother's house for a family dinner...

She begins complaining to her family about work. "Geeze! Men these days complain about paying $50 for a blowjob! It's hard work! I *earn* that money!"

Mom, who was a hooker in the 1980s laughs. "Fifty bucks!? You're complaining about that? When I was on the streets, we were lucky to get $20!"...

1980s European leaders Mitterrand, Brezhnev and Thatcher were flying around Europe in a helicopter, trying to recognize cities without seeing them.

Thatcher went first. She stuck her ear out the window and stated: "I can hear Big Ben chime. This is London!"

Next was Mitterrand. He stuck his nose out and stated: "I can smell fresh baguette. This is Paris!"

Last was Brezhnev. He stuck his hand out and yelped: "What... hey! Somebody ...

An American and a Russian are arguing about freedom in their countries during the 1980s

American: Look, in my country I can walk into the Oval Office, pound the President's desk and say Mr. President, I don't like the way you're running our country.

Russian: Well, I can do that too.

American: You can?

Russian: Yes. I can walk into the Kremlin, go to the General Se...

I just saw two really large spiders dancing to some 1980s music.

I think they were Duran Durantulas.

Mikhail Gorbachev started an anti-alcohol campaign in USSR in 1980s. People went crazy because of the restrictions on selling of alcohol. An old Soviet joke went like this:

“A disaffected and angry citizen, fed up of standing in lines for vodka, decided to go assassinate Gorbachev. He soon came back and ruefully reported that the lines to assassinate Gorbachev were even longer than the lines for vodka.”

Austrian humor

*One time back in the 1980s when I was living in Austria, a bunch of us went out for a beer. During the chit-chat, an American friend of mine named Margie insisted that Austrian jokes weren't funny. Her (Austrian) boyfriend Werner disagreed. Margie said, "Well, tell that mouse joke of yours." Werner...

I work in an Auckland restaurant and Jacinda Ardern just came in

She said, "Can I get a large aperitif?"

I said, "I very much doubt it."

Credit to all the schoolboys in 1980s England who were making the exact same joke about Esther Rantzen.

Harvard Bridge

The Harvard Bridge in Boston that runs to MIT is measured in "smoots," after a 1958 fraternity prank where freshman Oliver Smoot was used as a device to measure the bridge.

There are various humorous side stories, such as:

1. when the bridge was rehabbed in the 1980s, the sidewalks wer...

People are forever going on about how video games are an unhealthy influence on the young.

But I grew up in the 1980s when all we had was Pacman and it's not like we spent all our time running around in the dark munching pills to weird repetitive music!

If a millennial asks you...

If a millennial asks you why people in old photos have red eyes

.

.

Tell them that they're too young to remember the demon uprising of the 1980s

Another Soviet Joke

In the late 1980s, Mikhail Gorbachev, tried to curb alcoholism deaths by limiting the times and places vodka was sold, resulting in huge lines.

One man, in line for vodka, says " I can't take this, save my place, I'm going to the Kremlin to assassinate Gorbachev.", and he trudges off into t...

Soviet Economics

1980s. Soviet Economy minister is making speech at Communist Party session:

- According to latest statistics, our incomes rose 20%, our quality of life rose 30% and our buying economic power rose 40%

From the audience: That's great that YOURS did, but what about OURS??

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The New New Math....

I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tel...

Russianbias

Twenty-five years ago, in December of 1991, the Soviet Union disintegrated. Humorist J.P. O'Rourke, the author of "The Baby Boom: How It Got That Way" told us, "Many of my favorite jokes came from behind the Iron Curtain. Maybe because humor was particularly sharp because it was the only weapon peop...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.