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Nemo Jokes

Why didn't Captain Nemo get any Christmas presents?

Because he was on the Nautilus...

After watching Finding Nemo, a man runs out to the pet store and buys a clown fish

He brings the fish home and puts it into the tank, but after a few days notices that it doesn't seem at all settled in its new home.


He remembers that in Finding Nemo, the clownfish live in an anemone, so he returns to the pet store and asks the clerk if they have any for sale. The cler...

What does my dad have in common with Nemo?

They both can’t be found.

I want to start a company and call it Nemo..

Then get Disney to make a Biopic on my life and call it 'Founding Nemo'

I was phoned by Rick Astley, who asked me to borrow some Pixar DVD's...

I said "Fair enough You can have 'Toy Story', 'A Bug's Life' and 'Finding Nemo' but I'm never gonna give you 'Up'".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A father buys a lie detector that slaps people when they lie. He decided to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son replies “I just did some homework.” The robot slaps the son. The son then says “Okay, okay. I was at my friends house watching a movie.”

Dad asks “What movie were you watching?” The son replies “Finding Nemo”. The robot slaps th...

Why did Dory warn Nemo about escaping through the toilet?

Because it was a sewer side mission!

After Finding Nemo, how did Dory make money?

She started an OnlyFins.

When I was a kid, I saw Finding Nemo on Ice.

That was my first time doing meth.

Disney is releasing an alternate version of its latest film for the Indian audience where Nemo's father starts looking for a bride for his son.

It's called Finding Dowry.

When people go underwater in movies, I like to hold my breath to see if I would have survived in that situation

Almost died watching Finding Nemo

I like to hold my breath whenever a character goes underwater in a movie. That way I know if I'd survive if I were that character.

I was rushed to the E.R after Finding Nemo

I’ve always tried to hold my breath when a character is under water, to see if I could survive the situation

Finding Nemo was a tough one

I just watched a film where a man's wife is brutally murdered and his son is left physically disabled...

...Then in a twisted turn of events, his son is kidnapped and he has to chase the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.

Finding Nemo is a real thriller!

So I was telling my dad

That the entire team that worked on finding Nemo had to take fish biology 101. Then he says "so does it ever bother you that the fish are talking?"

That was the hardest I laughed in a while

The Shape of Water?

More like Grinding Nemo, amirite?

So my friend, Rick Astley, asked me for some Pixar movies to watch...

I told him, "You can borrow Toy Story 1, 2, and 3, A Bugs Life, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars 1 and 2, Ratatouille, and Wall*E, but I'm never gonna give you UP!"

My friend once accused me of boiling my pets

To prove to him that this simply wasn't the case I showed him my hamster, Hamish, alive and well. He then said 'what about the incident with nemo?'

I said don't be ridiculous, that's a whole different kettle of fish.

Old but gold

One day, John visited Rick to borrow some movie to watch.

John: "can i borrow some of your movies?"

Rick: "Sure thing, just follow me"

John followed rick to a room full of movies from a to z

Rick: "so what are you looking for?"

John: "oh just some family friend...

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