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Move Out Jokes

I yelled at my girlfriend, "If you continue stealing my cooking utensils, I'll move out!" She just laughed and said...

"That's a whisk I'm willing to take!"

My neighbor, who makes tennis equipment, makes me want to move out.

He is ALWAYS making racket.

My mum told me if I get a tattoo I will have to move out.

My father could not lose the opportunity and got a tattoo himself.

What did the father tree say to his son when he was ready to move out?

Boy, don’t forget your roots.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I suggested to my wife that maybe it’s time we asked our roommates to move out, seeing as they are obnoxiously loud and leave their shit everywhere.

After throwing her shoe at me, she told me that it’s apparently illegal to kick your kids out before they are 18.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today my parents told me to either move out or get a fucking job.

So I became a prostitute.

Whom do you call when your unvaccinated teenager won't move out?

An exorcist.

What happens to a person when they move out of Asia?

They become dis-oriented!

I've been dating this homeless chick for a while now and it's starting to get serious.

She asked me to move out with her.

My cat told me he's old enough to move out on his own now

but then he said nah I'm just kitten

Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

The Divorce Settlement

On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come to collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background musi...

A young man's father tells him it's time to go find a wife and move out

So he goes out and finds a nice girl and brings her home to meet her dad and says "I'm gonna marry her!" The father takes the son aside and says "I've been out and around a bit, and you can't marry her because she's my daughter and your half-sister. But don't tell anybody because your mother doesn't...

Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.

Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.

A man buys a paint factory in a small town.

He visits the local volunteer fire department to see for himself if they'd be able to handle a fire at his plant. What he finds convinces him they could not...the whole fire department consists of one old pumper truck and a bunch of volunteers he finds less than reliable. He tells them "Boys, I'm so...

I told my wife we had a pest problem.

But, apparently we have to wait until it’s 18 years old to move out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey guys I've been talking to this girl for a while, and I was hoping you guys could give me some advice to move out of the friendzone.

Because she's fucking crazy and I need to get away from this bitch.

In Hong Kong, there once lived a rich prestigious old man known as Grandpa Li.

Grandpa Li lived together with Grandma Li in a big mansion with 3 daughters, each known as Miss Li.

The eldest Miss Li got married. Since she came from a very prestigious family, she decided to keep her last name, and then known as Madam Li.

Madam Li had a Son and a Daughter. They are ...

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