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Moths Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 18 year-old Italian girl tells her mother she missed her period for two moths.

Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Fer...

Why do moths like the light?

Because if they liked the dark they’d be goths.

How many moths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, if they can get inside it in the first place.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two moths

Two moths were in a house,

And they wished to have sex.

So they searched for a quiet place down the halls.

And when they found a cozy closet

Mrs.Moth started choking

On mothballs.

A woman who is 3 moths pregnant falls into a deep coma.

6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.

Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise

Woman: Well it ...

A moth walks into a gynecologist's office.

He sits down, put his legs in the stirrups and everything.


"Doc, I feel terrible. I think my wife is cheating on me. Sometimes I come home and I feel like I see other moths flying out the backyard.

I think my boy's on drugs. I found a lighter and some paper in his room the other...

Why do moths fly with their legs open?

Have you seen the size of moth balls?

The doctor gave me six moths to live.

I shot him. The judge gave me twenty years. Problem solved.

To be fair, Donald Trump HAS created a lot of jobs.

It’s going to take a lot of people to clean up this mess.

How many moths does it take to change a lightbulb?

Moths can't change lightbulbs but they keep trying.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a jungle cat who wrote his PhD thesis on the economic effects of taxation, and the order of insects that includes butterflies and moths?

One's a leopard doctor of tax economy, the other's a lepidopteral taxonomy

How many moths does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't know, but they are literally killing themselves trying.

I was aiming for a little light humour but I think it's actually rather dark because of the amount of death I've witnessed in the writing of this joke.

Written by Drew P. Robertson on July 19th 2015 just in case of any fu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Moth Problem

A sales assistant walks up to an old lady in his store and asks if he can help.

The lady says, “Yes please. I have a bit of a moth problem at home and need something to get rid of them.”

The assistant points out where the mothballs are and the lady thanks him and buys a packet.
...

Have you ever smelled Moth Balls?

Me: yeah I have

My Dad: How’d you do it? Did you hold the moths wings?

TIL crickets only do their iconic "yelling" chirp in the presence of wild moths. Unfortunately, my cricket has none.

He has no moth and he must scream.

What did Mick Jagger do when he found his cupboard was infested with moths?

Nothing. A rolling stone gathers no moths.

Dave went to the store for a box of mothballs. His closet was infested with moths and he needed a solution.

The next day, Dave returned to buy five more boxes.



“Weren’t you just here yesterday to buy a box of mothballs?” the store clerk asked.



“Yes, but I used up that box already. Those suckers are hard to hit when they start moving!”

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