UPJOKE
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Mispronounced Jokes

I'm thinking of writing a joke about mispronounced grammar.

I'll gerund to it later.

A stoner is smoking a joint at a hostel when a German guy turns up.

The German guy speaks no English, but the stoner is feeling good so he offers the German his joint. The German takes a puff, thanks him, and hands it back. The stoner nods approvingly, and for some reason begins to roll another joint. He takes a puff himself, and hands it to the German, and again th...

What did Super Mario's French teacher say when Mario mispronounced the word for "friend"?

It's *ami*, Mario!

What did Hermione Granger say to her friend that mispronounced their order at an Indian restaurant?

It’s samOsa not samoSA

There is a type of capital punishment where the executioner yells mispronounced words at the inmates until they die.

It's called lethal inflection.

My Name ist short

An employee from a different Branche visits.

Coworker: "you should know that the Boss Here is called featherstonehaugh. He dislikes being mispronounced so try to remember it. My own Name is 'short'."

Employee: "my name is short too, it's 'Long'."

A joke we tell tourists in china

Back when the Terra-cotta Soldiers were discovered, Bill and Hilary Clinton decided to visit the site. It was also asked of the chinese officials arranging the tour, that the Clintons could meet the meek and old chinese man that discovered the Terra-cotta.

Back then, the Terra-cotta site was ...

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