A dignified matron notices that although her dog is affectionate,

he no longer comes when she calls him. Worried that something might be wrong, she takes him to the vet.

The vet examines the dog and says, "He's fine, it's just that his ear canals are blocked by fur, so he can't hear you. I can trim it near the surface, but it's also growing farther down i...

One day during a war....

A tall, strong and handsome Roman soldier broke into a house where he found two luscious maidens and their matronly nurse.

Chuckling with glee, he roared, "Prepare thyselves for a conquest, my pretties."

The lovely girls fell to their knees and pleaded with him, "Do with us as thou wil...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mike went to brothel with 5$ to ask for a woman

But matrone sent his home. "You will need more money that that, honey."

So Mike returns next day with 15 $. Matrone sights and send his to room 9. There is a goat standing next to a bed. But Mike didn't want to give his money away for nothing, so he went with it.

He show up again afte...

A train goes under a tunnel. Credits to /u/capilot

A soldier, an officer, a young woman, and a matron are sitting in a train compartment. The train goes into a tunnel, and for a moment all is dark. A kiss is heard, followed by a slap. The light comes back, and the officer is rubbing his face.

The matron thinks "that awful officer kissed the y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In a brothel...

A distinguished gentleman addressing the matron: Madam, I have only $5, and the lady says to a girl: "Dolores, make a penguin to the gentleman".
The gentleman, hesitant, unaware of what a "penguin" was, follows the sweet damsel up the room, The girl begs him to lower his pants and so, standing ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here’s one my grandpa used to tell my mom and my mom used to tell us. (I’ve taken some artistic liberties to modernize it a bit.)

A man was driving down a country road when one of his tires went flat. He went to look for his tools and saw that part of his set was missing. He had a full spare and jack but his tire iron was missing for some reason. The man looked off in the distance and spied a farmhouse in the distance. With no...

Touring Stephen King's writing studio

Stephen King is showing a group of students around his writing studio, chaperoned by their aging English teacher. The students are clearly amazed with the items he has on display.

King leans over the desk to pick up a jar to show the children.

“I’m often asked,’ he says with words thi...

Two Parents Want to Adopt a Child...

so they head down to adoption agency. They say to the matron,

"We'd like to adopt a child please."

She responds, "Well, we only have one child left. And he's a head."

"What?"

"He has no arms or legs. He's really just a head, poor thing."

But the new parents deci...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Traveling Friar

This simple friar came upon a small village with a convent upon a nearby hill. Crossing through the village he was bombarded with a strange greeting from many of the local women. "5 shillings for a blowjob!" Thinking to himself this must be local workers hawking but as to what a blowjob was he had...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.