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Headmistress Jokes

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The headmistress at my exclusive girl’s college was lecturing us on Sexual morality......

“In moments of temptation,” she said to the class, “ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?”

She got so furious when I got up and asked “How do you make it last an hour?”

At a girls' boarding school, a WW2 flying ace has been invited to give the Prize Day address

"I was flying along in my Spitfire, and visibility was poor, but all of a sudden the fog lifted, and I saw these fokkers coming up behind me. I dived on them and shot two of the fokkers down, then did a quick roll, but there was a little fokker right on my tail, and I had to ..."

At this poi...

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Two parents were discussing about their child's education with the headmistress of a popular school in the town.

Parent - " We want you to be honest with our child's situation in the class. For instance, last year, they said he was weak in mathematics, but when the results came out, he failed the English subject."

Headmistress - " We wouldn't allow those things happen in our school. If your son is weak ...

Did you hear about the inflatable boy at the inflatable school who was sent to see the inflatable headmistress for bringing in a pin?

She said: “You’ve let me down, you’ve let yourself down, but worst of all you’ve let the whole school down.”

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A certain talk.

One day a vicar bumped into the headmistress of an exclusive girls' school.
"O Vicar, our girls are a certain age and we would like them to to have a Christian perspective on sex. Will you talk to them next Tuesday afternoon?"

The vicar agreed and decided he had better put the talk on his ...

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The headmistress of a Southern charm school calls up an army base and asks to speak to the Colonel.

"Sir, I do apologize for calling you so late, but my girls have informed me we have a bit of an issue that needs addressing directly," she says, "And I hoped you might lend a hand in solving it."

"Of course, Ma'am, I'll be happy to help if I can," says the Colonel. "What's the matter?"
...

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There once was a man in a happy marriage, save for one aspect - his member was so sizable he could not fully insert himself into his wife without causing her pain.

One night, this frustration boiled over, and he headed out to find a bordello - surely, if he was to find a woman to accommodate his size, it would be there.


As he walks into the parlor, he eyes a man behind the counter and tells him his troubles. The man says, "Well, that's a pickle, but...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Substitute English teacher

An English class for slower students was going through the dictionary as a months-long project, and is hoping to finish “S” soon.

One day the teacher, Mrs Smith, was about to move on to the next page. “Okay, the first word for today is s-“
She stopped mid sentence, froze up with her eyes...

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