Bostonian Jokes

Because how else would they start their car?

The waiter comes by and says "Excuse me, but there's a shortage of steak tonight and it's not on the menu."

The Texan says "What's a 'shortage?'"

The Russian says "What's a 'steak?'"

The Bostonian says "What's 'excuse me?'"

A pirate jumps out in front of him and screams "Arrr!!!" To which the Bostonian screams back "Ahhhhhh!"

"What is your name?"

"Thomas, ma'am," he answered.

"What is your last name," she said. "I never call chauffeurs by their first names."

"Darling, ma'am," he replied.

"Drive on - Thomas," she said.

(Rapp, Albert 1951. On the Origins of Wit and Humor. New York: Dutton... read more

of an elderly Bostonian, and asked if he could contribute towards the floods in Missouri. He replied he'd love to, but his garden hose only reaches to the end of the driveway.

Everytime a Bostonian "pahks his cah in the yahd", a Texan warshes something

If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a
Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest,
causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."

The city of Boston has a problem with crows. They are dying by the thousands and the roadways are littered with the carcasses. The problem is only getting worse. Massachusetts' Dept. of Environmental Protection just completed a study of the problem. The crows are being killed when they are struck by... read more