UPJOKE
reflexologyshiatsuacupressureacupuncturemassage chairpehr henrik lingmasseusebodyworkhuangdi neijingthai massagemyanmarper henrik lingwatsulymphelbow

Masseur Jokes

I got fired from my job as a masseur.

There wasn't any specific incident, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

I got sacked today on my first day as a masseur

Apparently “finish up on my face” doesn’t mean what I thought it did !

Shocked to discover my masseur sold the rights to footage of our sessions.

I’m told it will be a neck-fix exclusive.

A couple was in Thailand for vacation.

They ordered a massage session for themselves, one for him and one for her.


After massaging the man for 30 minutes, the Thai girl said, "Massage pinis."


The man looked sheepish but kept quiet, looking shiftily at his wife.


The Thai masseur said again, "Massage ...

My masseur thinks he's naturally better than any masseuse.

He's such a massagynist.

What do you call a foot masseur who is great at his job, comes in early every day to set up, leaves late to clean up, is renowned around the world for his dedication to his craft, but also has a foot fetish?

Hard at work

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An extremely attractive young blond woman goes to a massage parlor.

She explains that this will be her first massage, and she really has no idea what to expect. The masseur tells her she'll need to disrobe and lie on the table. The young woman blushes, but strips off all of her clothes, struts across the room, and lies on the massage table.

The masseur can't...

[just wrote this one] Political Massage

So I went to this masseur. Great reputation. People say he’s good with his hands.

We get down to business, and he starts asking me about politics.

He asks, “So are you for states or against states? You’ll get a different massage depending on your answer.”

I guess he’s probably a...

A friend went for Thai massage in Bangkok recently.

A friend went for Thai massage in Bangkok recently. He requested for two masseurs, one for him and another for his wife.

After massaging the man for a long time, the Thai massuer said, "Massage pinis". He kept ghastly quiet pretending not to have heard it.

Again, the massuer repeated h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Father O’Mally has been preaching

at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Veg...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.