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Luigi walks to work 20 blocks everyday and passes a shoe store twice everyday.

Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes.

He wants those shoes so much...it's all he can think about.

After about 2 months he saves the price
of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.

Every Friday night the Italian community
holds a dance ...

What does Mario and Luigi smoke?

Wiid.

Mario, Luigi, Peach met up for the first time in 5 years

It was a Wii Union!

Luigi invites Mario over to play some Nintendo Switch...

...as they get ready to fire up some Smash Bros. Mario notices Luigi has a new avatar.

Mario asks, "Say, Luigi, what kind picture is that?"

Luigi says... "It's a Mii, Mario."

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Loud Snoring At Camp

Four guys were at deer hunting camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Luigi because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Luigi and comes to breakfast the...

My buddy Luigi lost his hands in a work accident

Now he can no longer speak italian

So Mario is talking to Luigi.

"So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"

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Super Mario and Luigi are sitting around...

Luigi: Hey Mario you lika the women with the big a saggy tits?
Mario: No!
Luigi: Hey Mario, you lika the women with the big a fat ass?
Mario: No!

Luigi: Then why a you fuck my wife?

Luigi should be president..

..because he has never done anything to get himself imPeach'd.


I'll see myself out

I always wanted to be Luigi

But wa is me.

Mario and Luigi walk into a DVD shop.

Mario holds up a movie.

“Is-a that the exorcist?” Luigi asked.

“This is It, Luigi.” Mario replied.

What are Mario and Luigi's pants made of?

DenimDenimDenim

What are Mario & Luigi’s favorite type of pants?

Denim denim denim

Denim denim denim

Why does Mario prefer to hang out with Toad more than Luigi?

Because he's a fungi.

What kind of pants to Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim

What's Luigi's favorite dish at a seafood restaurant?

It's a Cala-Mario!


I thought of this joke while I was dreaming one night and laughed myself awake.

Giuseppe and Luigi were life-long friends from the old country.

They both moved to America, had good careers, retired, and now met in the park every day. One day, Luigi got to the park and Giuseppe wasn't there. Giuseppe was always there first. For 15 years, Luigi never got to the park first. He was so worried about his friend.

Suddenly, a limousine pulls...

If I had to choose to hang out with either Mario, Luigi or Toad. I'd pick Toad.

He seems like a fungi.

Italian Anniversary

At the church's husbands' marriage seminar, the Priest asked Luigi, on his upcoming 50th
wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to
stay married to the same woman all these years.

Luigi replied to the audience "Well, I've-a tried ...

Why does Luigi bring an extra pair of overalls when he golfs?

In case he gets a hole-in-one

The Italians are fighting Americans in the trenches

An American gets the idea to yell the name Luigi, and being a common Italian name when someone hears their name and looks up, they shoot him.

"Hey, Luigi!"

An Italian looks up and says

"Yeah?"

BANG

After the Americans do this a few times, the Italians try it for th...

"Luigi, what was the name of that Schumer chick that no one likes?"

"It's Amy, Mario."

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After his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.

“Ciao, Luigi. How wassa the trip?” His friend said.

“Everything was perfecto, except for the train down.” Luigi said

“Virginia and I boarda da train at Grand Central Station. Virginia packa a huge picnic basket. But the conductore came, waga his finger and said: ‘no eat in disa car. M...

Mario & Luigi

Mario :- Ey Luigi , whats this funny ol' image called.
Luigi:- It a Meme , Mario

How does Mario communicate with his recently deceased sibling?

Luigi Board.

How does Super Mario see into the future?

He uses a Luigi board

Luigi the Fisherman

No one in this town could catch any fish except this one little old Italian man. The game warden asked Luigi how he did it.
Luigi said, "Comma down tomorrow...we go fish"

Once they got to the middle of the lake Luigi took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After ...

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Italian Honeymoon

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.


Giovanni said, “Hey Luigi, how was-a da treep?”

Luigi said, “Everyting was-a perfecto except-a for da train-a ride down.”

...

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What do you call two Italians with a Japanese Father?

Mario and Luigi.

Since Luigi died in the Smash direct, what do we have to use to contact him?

A Louija board

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An Italian Farmer was working the fields with his three sons and notices that two of them were out of breath because they were over weight.

He called over to his three sons and spoke to each of them.

Papa: "Luigi, why are you such a fat fuck?"
Luigi: "Papa, I love eating my wife's lasagna. It's so good!!!"
Papa: "Son, you need to take smaller bites."

Papa: "Mario, why are you such a fat fuck?"
Mario: "Papa, I lo...

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An old Italian joke..

A woman raised in a Monastery gets married. Let's call her Maria and her husband Mario.The wedding finishes and Mario and Maria are now in the bedroom.
Mario takes off his clothes and Maria being a girl raised in a monastery only with women is surprised when she sees Mario's penis. She asks him:...

So the Germans were having a hard time against the entrenches Italians in WW1

Lt Rommel has an idea: "Hey, a lot of Italians are named Luigi. I say we try calling out 'hey, Luigi', and when they stick their head out to answer, we shoot them." It was decided that it was worth a try so early the next morning the Germans launch their new "offensive".

A German soldier call...

Me and this girl would smash all the time, but eventually we broke up. Why?

She never let me pick luigi

The top executives of the Budweiser beer company decide they need a fresh, new marketing initiative. One suggests that the Catholic church, being a well known, global brand just like themselves, would be a suitable sponsorship partner, so they send two of their most persuasive directors to Rome.

They are granted an audience with the Pope and explain that they want a commercial link-up with the Vatican. This would, of course, involve some careful 'product placement'. What they suggest is that the words in the Lord's prayer , 'Give us this day our daily bread', be replaced with, 'Give us this...

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A young Italian couple get married,

(actually, Italian-American, second generation) named Maria and Luigi. They can only afford to spend their honeymoon night at Maria's Mama's house. Maria is a nervous virgin, but finally Mama 'shoos' her upstairs to be with her husband.
Luigi is sitting on the bed admiring Maria, undressing her ...

How does Mario talk to the dead?

With a luigi board.

Made this joke up about 10 years ago while trying to think of terrible laffy taffy jokes.

My house is haunted by Nintendo characters.

I knew I shouldn't have fooled around with that Luigi board.

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An old Italian man and his three sons...

NSFW (Best if delivered in an eccentric Italian accent with all the gestures)

So this old Italian man has 3 sons, 2 of them quite fat and 1 skinny.

He asks his first son "a-Mario! Why you-a so fat?" Mario says "oh but-a papa, I like-a the linguini!" His papa say "but-a Mario! You take...

Mario died

Mario died today, Luigi just informed us that he pasta way.

A man walks into a bar, at night

He walks in and is seated next to the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his life. All he can think about is how he has to marry her. He strikes a conversation with her and they hit it off. They leave the bar and as they're walking out she gives him her number, her name was Lela.

They had...

How does Mario speak to the dead?

With a Luigi board

Credit to u/gagga_hai

Have you guys heard about the old italian plumber who can talk to ghosts?

He uses a Luigi board.

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An old Italian man goes to the doctor's office...

He says - "Doctor, I want you to take a look at my penis."

The Doctor says - "Sure, Luigi. Go in the other room and remove your pants. I will be in there shortly."

The doctor comes in the room and gets down on one knee and inspects the old man's package.

After a thorough inspect...

The Italian Beach (NSFW)

Mario and Luigi, two Italians recently out of jail, see each other at a bar. "Luigi! You friggin guy! how are ya, i heard you just got outa jail," Mario drunkenly exclaimed. "Yeahs, i was ina the jail for robbery, how about you Mario?" slurred Luigi. "well," began mario, shaking his head sadly "i ...

Golf and vino

70 year old Luigi goes to his doctor for an annual check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape Luigi is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'

‘I'm Italian and a golfer’ says Luigi, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out go...

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