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There are two types of people in this world: those that pee in the shower

And fucking liars.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is her eyes.

Women say the first thing they notice about men is that they're a bunch of liars.

I can't believe I only joined Liars Anonymous this morning..

And they've already made me president.

Ghosts are really terrible liars

You can see right through them.

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60% of people are liars and 90% of people pull numbers from their ass

This is 100% true

Reposters are the opposite of liars

Liars swear they made nothing up.
Reposters swear they made *everything* up.

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There’s 2 types of people in this world…those that pick their nose…

And fucking liars

Traveling salesmen and the farmer

A traveling salesmen is driving through the country one evening when his car breaks down. He walks to the nearest farm house and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, he explains his situation and kindly asks to use his phone.

The farmer replies “Well we haven’t got a phone here, but ...

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Well known fact.

95% of reddit users are sad lonely wankers....

The other 5% are liars.......

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What do people with constipation and liars have in common?

They're both full of shit.

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Two liars went for a swim.

Now these two were a dad and his son. The dad climbed a boulder and proceeded to dive into the water. He got his foot stuck between some rocks and struggled to release his feet for around 2 minutes before swimming back to the surface.

Son: You were under for quite a while there. What happene...

Three liars were together talking

The first one said, "I once was in the woods, and 4 lions came to me, and I had one gun, one bullet and one steal plate, so I tossed the plate in the air, shot the plate, broke it into 4 pieces and each peace killed a lion and they died"

The second one said, "Me too, but there was only 2 lio...

I suffer from a heart disease that only afflicts liars.

IFib

A man buys a robot that slaps liars

He puts it on the dinner table, and explains what it is. He then asks his son where he was today when he should have been at school.

"I was at school!" The robot slaps the son. "Okay, I went to the cinema."

"Who were you with and what did you watch?" The father asks.

"I was with...

My girlfriend said I'm nothing but a bare-faced liar

So I've grown a beard.

What happens to liars when they die?

They lie still.

Liars tend not make eye contact,

which is why I don't trust pirates half the time.

Atoms are huge liars

They make up everything.

Liars

A preacher finished the service one morning by saying, “Next Sunday, I’m going to preach on the subject of Liars. As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark 17.”

On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin. Looking out at the congregation he said, “Last week I ...

Rio is full of liars, cheaters, thieves, and drug abusers.

And that's just the athletes.

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