UPJOKE
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Did Johnny Depp just win the defamation case or was it…

misheard?

A woman sues a man for defamation of character...

A woman sues a man for defamation of character, charging that he called her a pig. The man is found guilty and made to pay damages.

After the trial, he asks the judge, “Does this mean that I can no longer call Ms. Harding a pig?”

The judge says,“That is correct.”

“And does it m...

A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.

“Does this also mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.

Wit...

Johnny repeatedly said he was gonna win the defamation case

Which proves that Amber Heard, but didn’t listen

They keep calling the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial “defamation case”…

I think there’s a typo there.

A radio shock jock calls a prominent socialite a pig on his radio show and is sued for defamation . . .

He loses at trial and asks the judge "Does this means I can no longer call Mrs. Harris a pig?"

The judge replies "That's what it means"

The jock asks "Can I call a pig Mrs. Harris?"

The judge says "Yes, the First Amendment still allows that".

The jock turns to the plainti...

Helga Adams takes her next door neighbor to court for defamation

She tells the judge "my neighbor Herman Franklin repeatedly calls me a fat pig to my guests when they come over."

"Herman, is this true?

"Yes your honor. I detest that fat pig that lives next door to me. She is a spoiled rotten princess of a fat pig who..."

"Alright, alright. I'...

What is a Pirate's favorite letter?

"You've just won your defamation case."

You're so ugly...

You're so ugly that when you were told 'you have a face only a mother could love' your Mum sued them for defamation of character.

A Priest a Rabbi and a Scientologist walk into a bar...

The Priest orders an orange juice, the Rabbi orders an apple juice and the Scientologist orders a lawsuit for libel, slander and defamation.

A protester who shouted "Donald Trump is a moron!" in front of the White House was arrested by the secret service and given 25 years in prison.

“5 years for defamation,” the court had announced, “and an additional 20 years for leaking top-secret information.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the most useless thing on a woman?

A drunken Irishmen at 3am.

[EDIT]: This isn't meant to be sexist, it is self-defamation.

The Ant and the Grasshopper

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no f...

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